TIPS REPORT 49: HOW TO STOP SEEKING VALIDATION

This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

We all enjoy a pat on the back or kudos when we do something right or accomplish a goal. It validates our thoughts and actions and boosts confidence to continue achieving our dreams and ambitions. Obtaining validation from your parents, friends, or social media is okay unless you seek outside validation constantly. If you do need the approval of others to feel better about your choices, it is time to stop and learn how you can trust yourself and gain self-confidence, starting with these nine tips.

 

1. Ask Yourself Why You Seek Others’ Approval

Understanding why you need validation from others helps you in taking the necessary steps to grow in confidence. Many times, your need for approval comes from your past. Take some time to ask questions and reflect on the answers.

 

2. List the Things You Think You Are “Bad” At

Sometimes we get caught up in a cycle of feeling like we cannot do anything right. This leads us to seek outside approval. Take some time to write down everything you think you are “bad” at, even if it is small, review it, and determine to work on one item. Once you accomplish it, pick another. Each time you master a new thing, you grow in confidence.

 

3. Focus on Positive Actions You Took

Boost your confidence and write down 5-7 things you accomplished today, no matter the size. For example, maybe you met your water intake goal, handled a disgruntled customer graciously, and cleaned the kitchen after dinner. Each item shifts your thinking from negative to positive.

 

4. Break the Habit of Asking for Validation

Before you ask for confirmation and validation from others, pause. Do you genuinely need their opinion? What would you tell them if the roles were reversed? When you wait a moment and consult with yourself, you strengthen your confidence and self-trust.

 

5. Look at Rejection as a Way to Grow

Each incident in your life, whether good or bad, provides an opportunity for growth. Consider a time when you disappointed your boss or partner. How did you recover from that situation? What did you learn from it? Using disapproval as feedback shows you how you are growing and moving forward.

 

6. Make Personal Growth a Priority

Choosing to continue growing as a person and learning from your mistakes frees you from the need for others’ approval. Focus on pushing forward, knowing you may make a mistake or two. Then, learn from it and grow in your confidence.

 

7. Turn Off from Social Media

Social media overstimulates our brains with a constant flow of idealistic images. If you don’t measure up, you may struggle with feeling like you don’t obtain the number of likes you want. Enjoy the break and use the opportunity to read a book, accomplish a goal, or do some other endeavor.

 

8. Stop Playing the Comparison Game

You are unique. You have talents and skills all your own. Instead of comparing yourself to others, learn to accept who you are while looking to the future and where you’d like to be. It is a tricky balance, but it is worth the effort to build your confidence.

 

9. Accept Yourself for Who You Are

What makes you happy? Seek out those things that increase your happiness and stop worrying about what other people think. This will be challenging, but it is a great confidence booster as you build your self-confidence.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Take time to ask why you think you need the approval of other people to feel better about yourself. Knowing the reasons helps you recognize patterns of thought that you can overcome.

 

b) Focus on your positive attributes by listing them and reviewing them. You might want to place sticky notes reminders on your bathroom mirror, beside your coffee pot, and at your desk.

 

c) When you make a mistake, decide to learn from it and not run from it. You may want to journal about the incident so that you can look back later and see how you grew from it.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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TIPS REPORT 48: HOW TO APPRECIATE LIFE MORE

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

Our fast-paced lives can quickly overtake our psyches, making us dread our day-to-day experiences and fail to appreciate our lives. It is possible to combat feelings of frustration and despair when you step back, switch your focus, and practice gratitude. An excellent place to start is with these nine tips.

 

1. Appreciate the Small Things

It is easy to appreciate the big things and overlook the small things in life. Build your gratitude habit by acknowledging there is nothing too small to appreciate. For example, look out your window and relish that you can see the sky with its clouds.

 

2. Find the Good in Your Pain

It might seem convoluted to think anything good can come out of a painful past, but it is possible. Your experiences make you who you are. Look for those traits you developed through the troubled times of life, such as compassion for others in similar situations or quiet strength in times of stress.

 

3. Write Down the Reasons You Are Grateful

As you contemplate all the reasons you are grateful, record them in a notebook or on your phone. This way, you can revisit them at times when you may be struggling. It is similar to a memorial and will help you refocus when you need it.

 

4. Give of Your Time

Investing in others is rewarding. It increases your well-being and makes you more grateful for what you may take for granted. Try to find ways you can volunteer in your community. Maybe you can tutor an elementary student in reading or visit elderly shut-ins.

 

5. Tell a Loved One Thank You

Sometimes you may find that you are grateful for something your mother or father has done for you. Why not share that with them? You might go about this by writing a thank you card or, better yet, give them a call.

 

6. Spend Time with Family

This tip can get tricky sometimes, but spending time with family helps you appreciate life. You can swap stories that can enhance and strengthen your relationship. Be sure you listen intently to your loved one and engage with the conversation instead of thinking about how you want to respond.

 

7. Live in the Moment

Many times we spend more time worrying about the future instead of enjoying the present. Why not stop thinking about tomorrow’s meeting and spend time engaging in conversation with your three-year-old? Life is too short to spend your precious moments reliving the past or dreading the future.

 

8. Stop Playing the Comparison Game

We spend hours on social media looking at what others have and wishing we were them. Comparing your life to others leads to frustration and potentially depression. Embrace what you have and resist the urge to play the comparison game. To win, you might need to limit your time on social media sites. It will be worth it in the end.

 

9. Make Self-Care a Priority

We may stop appreciating life when we become too busy and are overworked and tired. Think of a child that needs a nap. Even small things make them cry. The idea is similar for adults. Getting good sleep allows your body to renew itself and puts life back into perspective. Eating healthily and getting exercise also boosts your mind, body, and spirit.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Choose one step and focus on it for a week. You might choose to list three things items you are grateful for each evening, or you might shut down social media.

 

b) Consider what changes you need to make to get better sleep, eat better, or exercise, and make it a priority. Underappreciating life may be an indicator that you have stopped self-care.

 

c) Give your loved ones a call and tell them ‘Thank you’ for something they did that makes you grateful for them. That pleasant conversation may be the first of many in strengthening your relationship.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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How to teach Math. Innovative Strategies for Integrating Technology in Math Instruction.

Teaching math can be a challenging task, but integrating technology can make it easier and more engaging for students. As a math teacher, you may have already tried using technology in the classroom, but are you using it to its full potential?

In 2019, I had the opportunity to teach a course on how to teach math at Huzhou University, and I had a great time doing so. One of the topics that I did choose for this post is integrating technology, and I'm excited to share some of the strategies in this blog post.

One of the most effective ways to integrate technology into math instruction is through the use of interactive whiteboards. Interactive whiteboards can help bring math concepts to life by allowing you to manipulate and display visual aids in real-time. For example, you can use a whiteboard to show students how to solve a problem step-by-step or to draw graphs and diagrams.

Another strategy for integrating technology into math instruction is through the use of educational apps. There are countless apps available that can help reinforce math concepts and provide students with extra practice. Some popular math apps include Khan Academy, Mathway, and Photomath.

Online resources are also a great way to integrate technology into math instruction. Websites such as Math Playground, Cool Math, and IXL provide interactive activities, games, and worksheets that can help students build their math skills. Additionally, online resources can be accessed from anywhere, which can be particularly useful for students who need extra help outside of the classroom.

Collaborative learning is another strategy for integrating technology into math instruction. Online tools such as Google Docs and Zoom can facilitate collaborative learning by allowing students to work together on math problems and projects, even if they are not physically in the same location.

By incorporating technology into math instruction, you can help make math more engaging and accessible for your students. Since teaching the course in 2019, I have transformed it into an online training course consisting of four chapters available at: https://mgameirollc.uteach.io/courses/bundle-courses  Each chapter contains comprehensive content and exercises designed to help you become an effective math teacher, including strategies for integrating technology. With this online training, you can learn at your own pace and apply what you learn in your own classroom to help your students achieve their full potential in math.

Integrating technology into math instruction can be a game-changer for both students and teachers. By using interactive whiteboards, educational apps, online resources, and collaborative learning tools, you can create a dynamic and engaging learning environment that promotes student success in math.

Discover how to leverage technology to enhance math instruction in this comprehensive training course. Learn research-based strategies, practical tips, and real-world examples to transform your classroom and engage your students.

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TIPS REPORT 47: BECOMING A BETTER WRITER

This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

The Internet and remote working situations showcase the need for better writing skills in the workplace. Companies conduct different business matters via email, while authors and online entrepreneurs put content out on the web. We all need strong writing skills to communicate our messages effectively. Whether you email clients and co-workers daily or dream of writing the next New York Times bestseller, becoming a better writer is possible with the following tips.

 

1. Write Daily

Writing is a skill. You might think of it like a muscle. Strong muscles require exercise, and strong writing requires daily practice. Consider setting aside time each day, say 30 minutes, and dedicate it to writing down your thoughts in a journal or drafting a professional blog post. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

 

2. Read Daily

Reading what others have written expands your vocabulary and thoughts. You gain new perspectives that can enhance your writing. Read everything you can, even the hard stuff. Your brain is a muscle that will relish in the time you spend feeding it new ideas.

 

3. Develop a Writing Routine

Find the time of day that works best for you and make it a routine. For example, if you are an early bird, choose to write early in the morning before others awake and cause distractions. Night owls may prefer to write after the house quiets down.

 

4. Eliminate (or Reduce) Distractions

You may sit at your laptop, but distractions will quickly sway you from the task at hand. Turn off your phone, shut down all programs on your computer except for your chosen writing program, and eliminate as many distractions as you can. Then, you can work without interruption and make the most of your time.

 

5. Study Other Writers

Besides reading other writers and soaking in their thoughts, you can slow down and study how they put certain sentences together. For example, you could print out a blog post or article you resonate with and take a red pen to it. Look for those sentences or phrases that stand out. Study their techniques.

 

6. Utilize Outlines

You do not have to dredge up horrific memories of high school English and outlining your term paper. Instead, please keep it simple. Write out the basic plan with sections and one or two sentences describing what you want to cover in each. That’s it. Easy and Simple.

 

7. Revise, Revise, Revise

Daily writing is great. Ruthless revising is better. Remember that your first draft will not be perfect. To ensure ideas come across clearly and proper grammar and punctuation are used, determine to edit and revise your work with a stern eye for errors. You will find that the more you revise, the better writer you become as you learn from your mistakes.

 

8. Read Your Writing Out Loud

It may seem odd, but you slow down enough to catch misspellings, typos, and poor phrasing when you read aloud. If you shrink at this idea, ask a friend, co-worker, or family member to read your writing. A third party can point out things you may have missed.

 

9. Brush Up on the Basics

Most of us probably hated grammar in school. However, excellent writing depends on good grammar skills. It is a good idea to brush up on capitalization, punctuation, and spelling. Review sentence structures and learn to use concise language. Poor grammar can distract your readers instead of making your writing stand out.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Choose a time of day that works best for writing and schedule it on your calendar. By making an appointment with yourself, you are sending your brain signals that this is important.

 

b) Pick a book and dedicate 10-20 minutes a day to reading. The goal is to broaden your horizons with great literature and other pieces that stretch you.

 

c) Do the work. Gathering ideas is good, but putting them into practice is better. So, grab your computer or go old school with pen and paper and get to writing.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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TIPS REPORT 46: BECOMING AN EARLY RISER

This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

When it comes to time management, we often say that we all have the same amount of time each day; it comes down to how we use it. While those are wise words, could there still be a way to get an edge? Becoming an early riser is one way we can gain an edge. We can't just create more time but getting up earlier can make it feel like we have. Those quiet mornings where you are alone with yourself, and your thoughts can be some of the most productive minutes of your day. If you struggle with getting up in the morning, consider these nine ways you can become an early riser.

 

1. Start the Night Before

The more you prepare the night before, the less stress you will have when you wake up. Think about what will make the morning less hectic. Would packing your lunch ease some of the morning chaos? Maybe placing your briefcase, purse, or other bags on a launch pad near the door helps.

 

2. Get to Bed Earlier

Rising earlier doesn’t mean you can go to bed at your usual time and get up rested. Your body still needs the same hours of sleep, so plan on shifting your bedtime to accommodate your new rise time. If you need seven hours of sleep and want to get up by 5 AM, you should aim to be in bed by 10 PM.

 

3. Develop a Bedtime Routine

Parents understand the benefits of holding to a bedtime routine for their kids. Why not think about what you do each evening before you go to bed that helps relax you. Maybe you enjoy a warm bath or reading in bed to help you wind down. Train your body that these activities mean bedtime is on the horizon.

 

4. Avoid Screen Time Before Bed

The backlighting of phones, computers, and televisions keeps your brain busy even if you scroll through social media to relax. Instead, give yourself a media curfew to let your mind and brain wind down before bed.

 

5. Ease into the New Alarm Time

Setting your alarm two hours before your usual time to get up may put your body into shock. You may also find that you don’t make it two days before you are back into old patterns. It benefits many to slowly turn the alarm back by 15-20 minutes each day until they get to their ideal wake-up time.

 

6. Place the Alarm Across the Room

It is much easier to hit the snooze button if your alarm clock is next to your head. By putting it across the room, you force your body to get up and get moving, and you stand a better chance of staying up.

 

7. Get Out of Bed Right Away

It is easy to rationalize sneaking in just five more minutes. Soon, five minutes turns to ten minutes, and you are now oversleeping. Immediately getting out of bed sends signals to your body that sleep is over and it’s time to start a new day.

 

8. Establish a Morning Routine

Whatever you decide to do, you train your brain and body what is supposed to happen after jumping out of bed. You may include meditation, prayer, exercise, showering, and eating breakfast. You may find that your body does this routine out of muscle memory eventually.

 

9. Stick to the Plan Even on Weekends

For the best benefits, try to go to bed and get up at the same times seven days a week. You don’t have to jump into the same activities as on weekdays, but you can develop the early riser habit faster if you stick to it seven days a week. So, go ahead and enjoy a second cup of coffee while listening to morning jazz.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Consider why you want to become an early riser. Do you have goals to accomplish, or do you want to ease the stress of your mornings?

 

b) Write down your reason for making this change to becoming an early riser and post it where you will see it. Knowing why you are making new habits can help when you feel frustrated.

 

c) Choose one tip to take action on. Maybe preparing your lunch the night before will save you from eating from the office vending machine the next day.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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TIPS REPORT 45: MANAGE RELATIONSHIP ANXIETY

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

Relationships come in many different styles. One thing remains the same – there will be times of doubt and worry over their state. Sometimes this concern is at the very beginning as you get to know one another. Other times, couples who have been together for several years may reach seasons where one or both question the solidarity of their union. The result is called relationship anxiety. It affects many couples, but it doesn’t have to rule (and possibly ruin) your relationship when you utilize these nine tips.

 

1. Identify What Causes Your Anxiety

Do you suffer from low self-esteem? Were your parents distant and aloof with you as you were growing up? Do you have a history of abusive relationships? Understanding what drives your anxiety gives you the upper hand in overcoming it.

 

2. Communicate Your Feelings Honestly

Sharing your fears and anxieties enables you and your partner to work together in your relationship. It also helps them see things from your perspective. For example, they may better understand why you get upset when they do not respond to a text for several hours.

 

3. Maintain Control Over Your Emotions

Reacting impulsively when your anxiety and insecurity levels rise places additional strain on your partner. It is better to resist the urge to make sure everything is okay, and instead, practice deep breathing, take a walk or call a friend for a brief chat.

 

4. Enjoy Today and Leave Tomorrow Alone

A lot of worries come from focusing on worst-case scenarios that have a low probability of happening. Concentrating on being in the moment and enjoying your partner or family member now builds fond memories and strengthens your relationship.

 

5. Remain Independent

It is easy to lose yourself as you build a relationship. Each party may want to compromise to show love. Your uniqueness brought you together. While there will always be some compromise for successful relationships, you should also encourage each other to maintain some independence and autonomy.

 

6. Avoid Letting Anxious Thoughts Write Your Story

Anxious thoughts may give rise to other emotions, such as anger, sadness, or despair. Emotions have a way of tainting reality, while facts share a different story. Try to avoid giving in to negative self-talk. Instead, work on replacing the narrative with positive self-talk. For instance, reframe “I am lousy at relationships” with “I am good at building strong relationships because I don’t give up.”

 

7. Focus on Gratitude

One way to combat worry and anxiousness is to be grateful. You are refocusing your mind on the people in your life that support you increase positivity in your life. Telling them how thankful you are for their love and support can also increase your emotional connection.

 

8. Do Not Seek Validation

Anxious thoughts lead to questions of worth and the need to feel validated all the time. Most of the time, your partner will not be available to give you the validation you seek at a moment’s notice. Also, requiring this constant validation can do more harm by creating a co-dependency. It is better to focus on other ways of handling your anxieties.

 

9. Utilize Your Therapy Sessions

Therapy sessions offer you the opportunity to work through your anxious thoughts. Your therapist will provide options for addressing your concerns, gaining clarity, and helping you develop strategies to manage your anxiety.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Learn more about your anxiety and how it affects your life. Education empowers you to handle the rough patches and come out stronger on the other end.

 

b) Find ways to maintain your independence. You might schedule lunch with a friend every couple of weeks or keep up on a hobby you love.

 

c) Schedule a counseling session with your therapist. You will keep perspective on your anxiety issues while alleviating the pressure on your partner.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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TIPS REPORT 44: BENEFITS OF COMPASSION

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

It feels like we are currently living in a dog-eat-dog world. We are all so worried about ourselves that we fail to look at the bigger picture. It's almost like we no longer embrace a sense of community. Maybe we lack compassion? The problem is, compassion is a powerful emotion, and it has many benefits.

 

1. You Will Be Happier

Showing compassion to others isn't purely altruistic. When you help someone else, it boosts your own happiness. A study from Harvard showed that donating money can make you happier than using it on yourself.

 

2. Makes You More Attractive

Positive personality traits like kindness and compassion have been shown to increase people's perceptions of attractiveness. People rated headshots more attractive when they were attached to a trait like compassion.

 

3. Improves Your Relationships

Being compassionate is a key to solid relationships. Whether romantic or not, people will be more comfortable and receptive to you if you show compassion towards them and others.

 

4. Uplifts Your Community

Compassion isn't just powerful in your direct relationships. It can help uplift the world around you. Compassionate acts have a way of spreading like wildfire. James Fowler examined this phenomenon in a study that showed acts of kindness spread just as easily as bad.

 

5. Improves Your Mental Well-Being

Compassion isn't just about other people. We must practice self-compassion as well. Often, we find it easier to be compassionate towards others, than towards ourselves. Studies have shown that self-compassion is indisputably linked to an individual's well-being.

 

6. Boosts Your Self-Esteem

Compassionate behavior such as donating, volunteering, and helping people in other ways has been shown to increase both academic aspirations and self-esteem among teenagers.

 

7. Increases Health and Longevity

Compassion doesn't just boost teenagers' self-esteem. It has also been linked to improved mortality rates amongst older volunteers. Compassionate behaviors like volunteering address older people's individual and societal needs.

 

8. Helps You Resolve Conflicts

Life is full of conflict. No matter how much your try to avoid conflict, it is bound to pop up in your life. Compassion can help you address this conflict more effectively. You will find it much easier to put yourself in someone else's shoes when you can show compassion.

 

9. You Become Calmer

When you strive to be a more compassionate person, you will find that you are naturally more patient and get less irritated. You will find it easier to forgive small transgressions, and more issues will roll off your back.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Do something compassionate for a loved one. Who in your life needs an out-of-the-blue pick-me-up?

 

b) Do something compassionate for yourself. When was the last time you did something just for yourself?

 

c) Do something compassionate for someone you don't know. Do you ever volunteer? Do you get involved in social causes?

 

FURTHER READING

 

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