This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information.
This article is from a Series
of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to
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TOP TIPS
We
all enjoy a pat on the back or kudos when we do something right or accomplish a
goal. It validates our thoughts and actions and boosts confidence to continue
achieving our dreams and ambitions. Obtaining validation from your parents,
friends, or social media is okay unless you seek outside validation constantly.
If you do need the approval of others to feel better about your choices, it is
time to stop and learn how you can trust yourself and gain self-confidence,
starting with these nine tips.
1. Ask Yourself Why You Seek
Others’ Approval
Understanding
why you need validation from others helps you in taking the necessary steps to
grow in confidence. Many times, your need for approval comes from your past.
Take some time to ask questions and reflect on the answers.
2. List the Things You Think
You Are “Bad” At
Sometimes
we get caught up in a cycle of feeling like we cannot do anything right. This
leads us to seek outside approval. Take some time to write down everything you
think you are “bad” at, even if it is small, review it, and determine to work
on one item. Once you accomplish it, pick another. Each time you master a new
thing, you grow in confidence.
3. Focus on Positive Actions
You Took
Boost
your confidence and write down 5-7 things you accomplished today, no matter the
size. For example, maybe you met your water intake goal, handled a disgruntled
customer graciously, and cleaned the kitchen after dinner. Each item shifts
your thinking from negative to positive.
4. Break the Habit of Asking
for Validation
Before
you ask for confirmation and validation from others, pause. Do you genuinely
need their opinion? What would you tell them if the roles were reversed? When
you wait a moment and consult with yourself, you strengthen your confidence and
self-trust.
5. Look at Rejection as a Way
to Grow
Each
incident in your life, whether good or bad, provides an opportunity for growth.
Consider a time when you disappointed your boss or partner. How did you recover
from that situation? What did you learn from it? Using disapproval as feedback
shows you how you are growing and moving forward.
6. Make Personal Growth a
Priority
Choosing
to continue growing as a person and learning from your mistakes frees you from
the need for others’ approval. Focus on pushing forward, knowing you may make a
mistake or two. Then, learn from it and grow in your confidence.
7. Turn Off from Social Media
Social
media overstimulates our brains with a constant flow of idealistic images. If
you don’t measure up, you may struggle with feeling like you don’t obtain the
number of likes you want. Enjoy the break and use the opportunity to read a
book, accomplish a goal, or do some other endeavor.
8. Stop Playing the Comparison
Game
You
are unique. You have talents and skills all your own. Instead of comparing
yourself to others, learn to accept who you are while looking to the future and
where you’d like to be. It is a tricky balance, but it is worth the effort to
build your confidence.
9. Accept Yourself for Who You
Are
What
makes you happy? Seek out those things that increase your happiness and stop
worrying about what other people think. This will be challenging, but it is a
great confidence booster as you build your self-confidence.
FAST-ACTION STEPS
a) Take
time to ask why you think you need the approval of other people to feel better
about yourself. Knowing the reasons helps you recognize patterns of thought
that you can overcome.
b) Focus
on your positive attributes by listing them and reviewing them. You might want
to place sticky notes reminders on your bathroom mirror, beside your coffee
pot, and at your desk.
c) When
you make a mistake, decide to learn from it and not run from it. You may want
to journal about the incident so that you can look back later and see how you
grew from it.
FURTHER
Affiliate links:
1. Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing,
https://amzn.to/3yaD4FP
2. Greatness Within: A Five-Step Framework to Stop Seeking Validation
https://amzn.to/3zT1btw
3. Validation Addiction: Please Make Me Feel Worthy
https://amzn.to/3xZ0ihM
4. Need to Please: Mindfulness Skills to Gain Freedom from Approval Seeking
https://amzn.to/3tLJs3E
5. You Are Enough: Is It Love or Your Need for Validation?
https://amzn.to/3HFOBzR
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