Saturday, May 4, 2024

Exploring Perspectives: Insights and Reflections

This week I did host the English Corner metting, and it was my third time discussing this topic, I did in Zhuzhou, Jiujiang and now here in Zhengzhou. it was about dating.

As I mentioned in previous posts, my status in China is always a topic of curiosity among the students. I have never hidden anything from them, so I have no problem sharing everything about my situation. I have been divorced for almost 10 years, even though I didn't want the divorce. Sometimes, I feel alone and so on, but I don't hesitate to discuss these things with my students.

On the other hand, I have also become curious about how things work in China, particularly the perspectives of the new generation regarding life, jobs, and relationships. This curiosity gave me an opportunity to ask them about their plans for the future. Surprisingly, I received more answers than I had expected saying marriage is not part of their plans. Many people, especially girls, expressed their lack of interest in getting married. They blamed the boys, claiming that they are not suitable for marriage.

Having been married and divorced myself, I understand how loneliness can be detrimental. Coming back to an empty home at the end of the day can be quite challenging. However, I try to focus my attention on my work and appreciate the adventure I am experiencing in China, which wouldn't have been possible if I were still married. So, overall, my life isn't that bad. Additionally, I am earning a good income. However, as I mentioned before and want to emphasize again, money alone doesn't bring happiness. It only makes life more comfortable, not necessarily happier.

I have attempted to highlight the advantages of getting married because I believe it can be a positive experience. I have witnessed the potential for happiness and personal growth through my parents' relationship. They stayed together for over 50 years until my father passed away last year.

My argument for marriage is that when it is done properly, it can lead to personal growth, maturity, and unimaginable happiness. I often refer to an experiment where people nearing the end of their lives were asked to answer a questionnaire about their lives. Not a single person stated that they wished they had spent more time working to make more money. Instead, they regretted not spending enough time with their loved ones (you can find that questionnaire in this post about dating).

Dating is a process that can lead to finding suitable partners for potential marriage. If the dating phase goes well, there is a good chance that marrying that person would work out. However, it is important to know what you are doing and pay attention to important aspects. If you date with the right intentions and considerations, the argument most students present for not wanting to get married would fall apart. It is possible to find good people with whom life would be better than staying alone.

Perhaps this is just my humble opinion, but in today's world with the internet, it is easy to find numerous women on social media who focused on their careers and remained single. Now, many of them regret that decision, especially since it is not as easy as it once was in their twenties to find a husband.

I am writing this post in the hope of providing a different perspective to those who disagree with me or are not considering marriage in their future. If they are wise, they will research this subject further to determine whether this is just someone's opinion or if there is some truth to it. It is crucial to consider all options before it becomes too late to change direction.

As a teacher, my main role is to teach students to think for themselves and make good decisions in life. Getting married is perhaps one of the most important decisions someone can make because it can have a profound impact on their life.

I hope this post prompts you to reflect, at least to some extent. Farewell for now.

You can watch it in YouTube or YouKu

PS: I have the recording of this week's English corner activity, where we delved into the topic of dating. It was an incredibly enjoyable and enlightening session. Not only was I able to share valuable insights and advice with the students, but I also learned a great deal from them. I absolutely adore these kinds of activities that allow me to spend quality time with students while engaging in such an awesome discussion.

I usually prepared the spirit of the student for such an activity with the quotes below in the social media group.

Article by Marcelo Gameiro
Published 02 Jun 2023

Saturday, April 27, 2024

An ordinary Saturday

Although my Saturday night didn't resemble John Travolta's iconic experience in the movie "Saturday Night Fever" from 1977, it was still incredibly enjoyable. Being alone in China could have potentially led to feelings of loneliness, but I discovered a simple solution to combat that. All I needed to do was take a trip to the university canteen, where I could find some company and potentially make new friends. Engaging in a pleasant conversation, playing a game, and having an amazing time were all part of the plan.

You may have noticed that I am a person who finds joy in the simple things. I don't require anything extravagant to appreciate life, nor do I feel the need to spend excessive amounts of money or seek attention. In fact, lavish activities lose their appeal when you're alone. Today, I didn't have anything particularly extraordinary planned. Instead, I spent time with some fellow students, enjoyed a delicious meal, and engaged in a lively card game for pure fun and enjoyment.

Saturday, April 20, 2024

Not the results I expected.

Unexpected Results

If you have been following my posts, it won't come as a surprise that I eat with the students every day and befriend them. That's why I usually eat at the canteen. I also encourage the students to do the same, to not just eat at the canteen, but to also make new friends with other students as well.

However, what most of them fail to understand is that I also face rejections when trying to make friends. There can be various reasons for that, but the main one is my inability to speak Chinese, which leads to many misunderstandings.

Let me give you an example of what happened yesterday. I was standing in front of a food booth, trying to decide whether to eat there or not, when a student greeted me and mentioned that the food there was delicious. They offered to help me get the food if I had any trouble. At that point, I thought we would eating together, so I agreed to get the food from there. After getting my food, I noticed that they weren't getting any themselves, and after I got my food they said goodbye because they were going to eat on another floor. That was not what I expected, so I looked for another student to sit and talk with while eating. Unfortunately, luck wasn't on my side, as I ended up sitting with a student who didn't speak English and avoided engaging in conversation with me. After two attempts, most people would give up and call it a day, but I decided to give anther try.

Since I was still hungry, I got something else to eat and attempted to find another student to sit with. On the third try, I finally found the best student for my situation, those are the students who are majoring in English so they were proficient in English, and most of the time when I sit with kind of student, we had enjoyable conversations and a good time together because there was no language barrier. It also served as English practice for them, so they appreciate the opportunity as well.

After eating with them, I even got something else to eat on the first floor. I suppose I was quite hungry yesterday. Coincidentally, as I was leaving the second floor, I greeted a couple of students and noticed that they were now eating on the first floor. Naturally, I joined them and engaged in conversation. Usually people who say “Hi” to you , or greet you, or even establish eye contact from a distance, are the one you can approach expecting a very good interaction.

The lesson from this experience is that you can't lose many times in a row. If someone rejects you or you don't get what you want on the first try, it means you are one step closer to achieving your goal. If you didn't succeed the second time, now you are two steps closer. Keep trying because success may be just around the corner.

Fortunately, I recorded those incidents yesterday. However, I am only posting the positive interactions on YouTube, so the first 2 rejections was not in the video, but rest assured, I did fail twice before finding good company to eat with yesterday.

I believe life is like that for everybody, and knowing this, I hope you continue to strive for what you want. Success usually follows failure, and those who are afraid to try because of the fear of failure will never succeed. This applies to almost anything in life, not just making friends like I was attempting to do yesterday.

Saturday, April 13, 2024

The reason I skip English Corner Yesterday

Unlocking Opportunities: English Speech Contest and Its Benefits for Students

The reason I didn't go to the English corner yesterday was because I received an invitation to participate in an English speech contest. Initially, I was unaware of the purpose of the invitation, but it turned out that I was invited to be one of the judges. Coincidentally, I also met some of my friends from the English corner at the event.

Participating in the English speech contest was a delightful experience. Towards the end of the event, I was called upon to deliver a few words. I had recorded my remarks, which you can find on YouTube. During my speech, I emphasized the significance of such activities in providing students with opportunities to practice public speaking and overcome their nervousness. Only through practice can one truly develop these skills.

Moreover, engaging in these activities offers a safe environment where there is little at stake. The risks are minimal, perhaps only a few points, unlike real-life business situations where one's job or clients may be at risk. Students can enhance their abilities without endangering anything and have a great time in the process. Personally, I thoroughly enjoy attending such activities and sincerely hope to receive more invitations in the future.

Those who choose not to participate or attend such activities are unaware of what they are missing out on. It's possible that later in life, they may regret having missed the opportunity to improve themselves in a skill that holds significant importance in both business and job settings.

Saturday, April 6, 2024

Engaging Students with a Free Book Giveaway

Today I did something different. I got the idea from observing students on campus who found a way to make extra money by selling items. They would place their items on a bench, and others could choose what they wanted and pay for them. The prices were not high, and they relied on the honesty of the person picking up the product, as there was no one monitoring the transactions.

This is where I got the idea from.

My intention was to have fun and engage with students in a new way. However, if they didn't want to pay the small amount of 1 or 2 Yuan required, I would still give them the book. The main goal was to enjoy the experience and not make money.

While doing this, I recorded a video that was quite enjoyable. Many students passed by without responding to my invitation, probably assuming that I was selling something and they weren't interested in purchasing. However, those who stopped to see what it was all about walked away with a free book.

Watch on YouTube

The book I offered was the first volume of my 10-volume collection titled "The World in Your Hands: A Guide to Every Nation." Inside the book, I included a link to the audiobook version.

Buy it here

Saturday, March 30, 2024

My Revenge (Cheating and Its Consequences)

Title: Cheating and Its Consequences

The title of this post, "My Revenge," is misleading because there is no revenge involved. Instead, I want to discuss a serious issue.

I am an instructor for courses in engineering and English majors, and this semester, I have more than 500 students distributed among 18 different classes. Unfortunately, some students attempt to cheat to get better grades than they deserve. I want to give these students a perspective to consider before going down this path, and hopefully convince them to do the right thing.

My argument is this: my class is easy to pass if you simply try. I give points for effort, not just getting the answers right, so if you complete the homework, you'll receive grades for class performance activities. The final exam is more challenging, but I don't try to trick students. I explain the exam format in advance, so they know what to study. With minimal effort, they can pass the course. Additionally, the passing grade is only 60%, so it's not that high.

Despite these facts, there are always some students who try to cheat. It takes a lot of time to gather evidence and build a case against these students, and many of them will get away with cheating. They may feel smart for fooling the system and passing without studying, but as a teacher, I try to be fair. If I catch someone cheating, I will punish them. However, I'm aware that many cheaters will never get caught.

The main point I want to make is that one day, these students will face a job interview. Most employers won't ask to see their grades, but if they're hiring someone with good English skills, they will conduct the interview in English, and cheating won't be an option.

Another important point is this: How much is your integrity worth? For those who cheat, it's just a few points on a test paper. They lose their integrity and reputation, and may never be trusted again. Trust is difficult to earn, but easy to lose.

I want to share a few points I read some time ago to help illustrate my view and demonstrate how important it is to be honest and have integrity.

► Point 1

► Point 2

Quoting from the article I have read: “I was in the East a few weeks ago, and I visited with a businessman, one of the most inspiring businessmen I have ever met. He told me of an experience he had had some time ago. He was the chief executive officer of a billion-dollar-a-year business. The company manufactured products of various qualities. The first-quality product was in the manufacturer’s name; the second-quality product was in the name of the customer. One of their customers, who did sixty million dollars’ worth of business a year, came to him a while ago and said, “I want a letter from you telling me that the second-grade product is just as good as the first-grade product.”

He replied, “But it isn’t as good.”

The customer said, “But it has the same ingredients.”

“The ingredients aren’t in the same quantity. It is not as good.”

“I want that letter or you’ll lose my business.” A sixty-million-dollar account. And this wonderful man said, “If that is what I have to do to keep your business, I don’t want it.”

Integrity! It exists in the world, but it exists in the hearts and the souls and the minds and the intellects of individuals. It doesn’t exist just in masses of individuals.

► Point 3

I had the experience one day of coming back to Salt Lake City on an airplane after a conference. A young man whom I had never seen sat in the seat in front of me. He recognized me, I suppose, from some of the pictures he had seen. He spoke to me and told me he was returning to his home in Detroit. He had graduated from Brigham Young University and had gone on to another school to get his MBA. He was a junior employee in the department in which he was employed at the Ford Motor Company. He had been chosen by his department head to represent the company at a very important meeting on the west coast. There were many men his senior in the department; they were furious that a junior man would be invited to go to such an important convention. It was a real plum professionally. The department head told one of them why he had chosen this young man. He said, “I know he will not embarrass the company. He won’t go out and get drunk. He’ll go out and take care of himself and represent us properly. That’s why I chose him.” You see, integrity can mean many things in the way of success in our lives.

► Point 4

Now I’d like to share with you a lesson that a young man has taught. This, to me, is one of the most touching lessons of integrity I have ever read. This is the true story of Elam Hill, director of physical education at Sequoia Junior High:

Story of Bobby Palacio

https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/victor-l-brown/make-honest-man/

Today I saw truth. For a moment I lived and breathed in the great presence of truth and felt its sweetness plunge deep into my soul. I am a coach in a junior high school. I work with five hundred boys each day. This has been my occupation for over twenty years. I enjoy it. Traditionally, I am supposed to be rugged, tough, crusty—yes, even a little severe at times. And yet underneath this exterior, feeling and understanding must exist if the job is to be done.

Today was test day in climbing the rope. We climb from a standing start to a point fifteen feet high. One of my tasks these past few weeks has been to train and teach the boys to negotiate this distance in as few seconds as possible. The school record for the event is 2.1 seconds. It has stood for three years. Today this record was broken. But this is not my story. How this record was broken is the important thing here, as it is so often in many an endeavor in life.

For three years Bobby Palacio, a fourteen-and-a-half-year-old ninth-grade Mexican boy, has trained and pointed and, I suspect, dreamed of breaking this record. It had been his consuming passion. It seemed his whole life depended upon owning this record. In his first of three attempts, Bobby climbed the rope in 2.1 seconds, tying the record. On the second try, the watch stopped at 2.0 seconds flat, a record. But as he descended the rope and the entire class gathered around to check the watch I knew I must ask Bobby a question. There was a slight doubt in my mind whether or not the board at the fifteen-foot height had been touched. If he missed, it was so very, very close, not more than a fraction of an inch, and only Bobby knew the answer.

As he walked toward me, expressionless, I said, “Bobby, did you touch?” If he had said yes, the record he had dreamed of since he was a skinny seventh grader and had worked for almost daily would be his, and he knew I would trust his word. With the class already cheering him for his performance, the slim, brown skinned boy shook his head negatively. And in this simple gesture, I witnessed a moment of greatness.

Coaches do not cry. Only babies cry, they say. But as I reached out to pat this boy on the shoulder, there was a small drop of water in each eye. And it was with effort through a tight throat that I told the class: “This boy has not set a record in the rope climb. No, he has set a much finer record for you and everyone to strive for. He has told the simple truth.” I turned to Bobby and said, “Bobby, I’m proud of you. You have just set a record many athletes never attain. Now, on your last try, I want you to jump a few inches higher on the takeoff. You’re going to break the record.”

After the other boys had finished their next turns and Bobby came up to the rope for his try, a strange stillness came over the gymnasium. Fifty boys and one coach were breathlessly set to help boost Bobby Palacio to a new record. He climbed the rope in 1.9 seconds—a school record, a city record, and perhaps close to a national record for a junior high school boy.

When the bell rang and I walked away, now misty-eyed, from this group of boys, I was thinking, “Bobby, little brown skin with your clear, bright, dark eyes and your straight, trim, lithe body—Bobby, at fourteen you are a better man than I. Thank you for climbing so very, very high today.” [Quoted from the California Teacher’s Journal]

Links

Saturday, May 4, 2024

Exploring Perspectives: Insights and Reflections

Exploring Perspectives: Insights and Reflections

Saturday, April 27, 2024

An ordinary Saturday

An ordinary Saturday

Saturday, April 20, 2024

Not the results I expected.

Not the results I expected.

Unexpected Results

Saturday, April 13, 2024

The reason I skip English Corner Yesterday

The reason I skip English Corner Yesterday

Unlocking Opportunities: English Speech Contest and Its Benefits for Students

Saturday, April 6, 2024

Engaging Students with a Free Book Giveaway

Engaging Students with a Free Book Giveaway

Saturday, March 30, 2024

My Revenge (Cheating and Its Consequences)

My Revenge (Cheating and Its Consequences)

Story of Bobby Palacio

https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/victor-l-brown/make-honest-man/