TIPS REPORT 45: MANAGE RELATIONSHIP ANXIETY

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

Relationships come in many different styles. One thing remains the same – there will be times of doubt and worry over their state. Sometimes this concern is at the very beginning as you get to know one another. Other times, couples who have been together for several years may reach seasons where one or both question the solidarity of their union. The result is called relationship anxiety. It affects many couples, but it doesn’t have to rule (and possibly ruin) your relationship when you utilize these nine tips.

 

1. Identify What Causes Your Anxiety

Do you suffer from low self-esteem? Were your parents distant and aloof with you as you were growing up? Do you have a history of abusive relationships? Understanding what drives your anxiety gives you the upper hand in overcoming it.

 

2. Communicate Your Feelings Honestly

Sharing your fears and anxieties enables you and your partner to work together in your relationship. It also helps them see things from your perspective. For example, they may better understand why you get upset when they do not respond to a text for several hours.

 

3. Maintain Control Over Your Emotions

Reacting impulsively when your anxiety and insecurity levels rise places additional strain on your partner. It is better to resist the urge to make sure everything is okay, and instead, practice deep breathing, take a walk or call a friend for a brief chat.

 

4. Enjoy Today and Leave Tomorrow Alone

A lot of worries come from focusing on worst-case scenarios that have a low probability of happening. Concentrating on being in the moment and enjoying your partner or family member now builds fond memories and strengthens your relationship.

 

5. Remain Independent

It is easy to lose yourself as you build a relationship. Each party may want to compromise to show love. Your uniqueness brought you together. While there will always be some compromise for successful relationships, you should also encourage each other to maintain some independence and autonomy.

 

6. Avoid Letting Anxious Thoughts Write Your Story

Anxious thoughts may give rise to other emotions, such as anger, sadness, or despair. Emotions have a way of tainting reality, while facts share a different story. Try to avoid giving in to negative self-talk. Instead, work on replacing the narrative with positive self-talk. For instance, reframe “I am lousy at relationships” with “I am good at building strong relationships because I don’t give up.”

 

7. Focus on Gratitude

One way to combat worry and anxiousness is to be grateful. You are refocusing your mind on the people in your life that support you increase positivity in your life. Telling them how thankful you are for their love and support can also increase your emotional connection.

 

8. Do Not Seek Validation

Anxious thoughts lead to questions of worth and the need to feel validated all the time. Most of the time, your partner will not be available to give you the validation you seek at a moment’s notice. Also, requiring this constant validation can do more harm by creating a co-dependency. It is better to focus on other ways of handling your anxieties.

 

9. Utilize Your Therapy Sessions

Therapy sessions offer you the opportunity to work through your anxious thoughts. Your therapist will provide options for addressing your concerns, gaining clarity, and helping you develop strategies to manage your anxiety.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Learn more about your anxiety and how it affects your life. Education empowers you to handle the rough patches and come out stronger on the other end.

 

b) Find ways to maintain your independence. You might schedule lunch with a friend every couple of weeks or keep up on a hobby you love.

 

c) Schedule a counseling session with your therapist. You will keep perspective on your anxiety issues while alleviating the pressure on your partner.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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TIPS REPORT 44: BENEFITS OF COMPASSION

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

It feels like we are currently living in a dog-eat-dog world. We are all so worried about ourselves that we fail to look at the bigger picture. It's almost like we no longer embrace a sense of community. Maybe we lack compassion? The problem is, compassion is a powerful emotion, and it has many benefits.

 

1. You Will Be Happier

Showing compassion to others isn't purely altruistic. When you help someone else, it boosts your own happiness. A study from Harvard showed that donating money can make you happier than using it on yourself.

 

2. Makes You More Attractive

Positive personality traits like kindness and compassion have been shown to increase people's perceptions of attractiveness. People rated headshots more attractive when they were attached to a trait like compassion.

 

3. Improves Your Relationships

Being compassionate is a key to solid relationships. Whether romantic or not, people will be more comfortable and receptive to you if you show compassion towards them and others.

 

4. Uplifts Your Community

Compassion isn't just powerful in your direct relationships. It can help uplift the world around you. Compassionate acts have a way of spreading like wildfire. James Fowler examined this phenomenon in a study that showed acts of kindness spread just as easily as bad.

 

5. Improves Your Mental Well-Being

Compassion isn't just about other people. We must practice self-compassion as well. Often, we find it easier to be compassionate towards others, than towards ourselves. Studies have shown that self-compassion is indisputably linked to an individual's well-being.

 

6. Boosts Your Self-Esteem

Compassionate behavior such as donating, volunteering, and helping people in other ways has been shown to increase both academic aspirations and self-esteem among teenagers.

 

7. Increases Health and Longevity

Compassion doesn't just boost teenagers' self-esteem. It has also been linked to improved mortality rates amongst older volunteers. Compassionate behaviors like volunteering address older people's individual and societal needs.

 

8. Helps You Resolve Conflicts

Life is full of conflict. No matter how much your try to avoid conflict, it is bound to pop up in your life. Compassion can help you address this conflict more effectively. You will find it much easier to put yourself in someone else's shoes when you can show compassion.

 

9. You Become Calmer

When you strive to be a more compassionate person, you will find that you are naturally more patient and get less irritated. You will find it easier to forgive small transgressions, and more issues will roll off your back.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Do something compassionate for a loved one. Who in your life needs an out-of-the-blue pick-me-up?

 

b) Do something compassionate for yourself. When was the last time you did something just for yourself?

 

c) Do something compassionate for someone you don't know. Do you ever volunteer? Do you get involved in social causes?

 

FURTHER READING

 

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Unlock the World: The Power of Language and Cultural Connection

 Discover the importance of language learning in connecting with people from different cultures around the world. Learn some tips for learning a new language and explore the linguistic features of different countries in 'The World in Your Hands: A Guide to Every Nation.'

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Are you tired of the same old tourist destinations and looking for something new and exciting to discover? Look no further than "The World in Your Hands: A Guide to Every Nation." In this book, you'll find hidden gems from around the world that offer a unique perspective on a country's history, culture, and natural beauty.

Let's take some example of  a journey to some of the lesser-known but fascinating destinations that you can learn about in "The World in Your Hands:"

1. The ancient city of Petra in Jordan - This stunning city is carved into the rock and is a testament to the ingenuity of the ancient Nabateans who built it.
2. The quaint town of Chefchaouen in Morocco - Known as the "Blue City," Chefchaouen's buildings are painted in shades of blue, creating a picturesque and serene atmosphere.
3. The pristine beaches of Palawan in the Philippines - Palawan boasts crystal-clear waters, lush green forests, and stunning limestone cliffs, making it a true paradise for nature lovers.
4. The ancient ruins of Tikal in Guatemala - This Mayan city is nestled in the heart of the jungle and offers a glimpse into the history and culture of this fascinating civilization.

see the series here

These are just a few examples of the hidden gems waiting to be discovered in "The World in Your Hands." With information on every country's history, culture, language, and nature, you can find hidden treasures in every corner of the globe.

So what are you waiting for? Start planning your next adventure and uncover the hidden gems of the world with "The World in Your Hands: A Guide to Every Nation." You can purchase your copy through this link [https://yellowcornbooks.blogspot.com/2023/03/collection-world-in-your-hands.html]. Happy exploring!

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TIPS REPORT 43: BE A LEADER PEOPLE WANT TO FOLLOW

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

Be it a coach, teacher, or boss, most of us are lucky enough to find a leader we are proud to follow. The type of leader that we would do anything for. They inspired us, challenged us, and enriched our lives in long-lasting ways. However, we have also had "bosses" that we only follow because they have the title. We all know what that can be like. When it is your time to lead, what type will you be? If you want to be a leader that people want to follow, try incorporating these nine characteristics.

 

1. Offer a Clear Vision

You need to have a clear vision of what you expect to accomplish. Besides the clarity this grants to yourself, it also comforts and guides your team. If you aren't even sure what you want to accomplish, how will your team know?

 

2. Listen to Your Team

Listening to people's ideas, suggestions - and yes - complaints, is important for any leader. It's important to act on them as well. When people know that you listen and respond to their suggestions, they will feel more comfortable following you.

 

3. Delegate And Get Out of The Way

You don't have the time to manage every little detail. Delegate tasks to the people you think are best suited, and let them work. This shows trust in your team and that you respect their ability. You can check in to make sure there are no issues but don't hover.

 

4. Empower People

Empowering people helps them feel more responsible and important. Giving people responsibilities or challenging them to develop solutions helps them feel more engaged with the team. When people feel engaged, they often perform better. More empowerment and better performance are enticing reasons for someone to follow you.

 

5. Embrace and Share Your Passion

Most people aren't naturally inclined to follow people who are dour or completely unexcitable. It's much more enjoyable to follow people who aren't afraid to get excited about what they are doing. Being passionate about your goals - and not afraid to show them - will make you much easier to follow and support.

 

6. Make Decisions & Take Responsibility

A leader needs to lead. You have to make decisions - even the tough ones - and live with the results. Don't hide behind your team if you make a bad decision. Take responsibility and develop a plan to fix it.

 

7. Show Your Appreciation

It seems almost silly to write this, as it seems like basic decency. However, many leaders need to hear this. You've likely had a boss who needs to hear this. When someone does something nice for you or accomplishes something important - show your appreciation. This doesn't have to be a big reward either; a simple acknowledgment will often mean the world to someone.

 

8. Exhibit Integrity

If you don't walk the walk, no one will listen to you talk the talk. People find it much easier to follow people with integrity. If you are dishonest, unreliable, or otherwise exhibiting a lack of integrity, people will be less inclined to follow you.

 

9. Learn How to Communicate

Communication is crucial for any leader. Quite often, persuasive communication can attract followers on its own. Good communication includes an ability to inform people while also inspiring them. If you can manage that balancing act, you are well on your way to becoming a leader people want to follow.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Make a list of all the leaders in your life that you can remember. Think about teachers, politicians, bosses, etc., that touched your life. Organize your list into two columns: good and bad.

 

b) Think about good leaders. What characteristics, traits, or actions made them good? Which could you adopt?

 

c) Now, think about the bad leaders. What characteristics, traits, or actions made them bad? Which will you have to work on avoiding?

 

FURTHER READING

 

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2. Leaders Eat Last

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TIPS REPORT 42: BEHAVIORS BLOCKING YOUR SUCCESS

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

Success means many different things to many different people. You ask ten people what their definition of success is, and you might get ten different answers. The common denominator is that most of us are striving to achieve it. No matter what the definition, success is something we all crave. Craving success is one thing, achieving it is another. The number one obstacle in our path to success is ...us! If you exhibit any of the nine behaviours below, you might be blocking your path to success without even knowing it.

 

1. Making Excuses

Making excuses is one of many ways we can self-sabotage. If you are constantly making excuses about why you can't do something, why you failed or blaming other people for your lack of success, it is time to take a long look inward.

 

2. Doing It All Yourself

Are you the type of person that needs to control every single detail? If so, you might be blocking your road to success. While self-reliance is typically a good thing, trying to do everything yourself is likely going to stall your success. Let go, delegate the minutiae and focus your efforts on high-impact actions.

 

3. Giving Up Too Easily

Life is essentially how we spend our time between obstacles. No matter who you are, you are going to have to deal with setbacks, failures and other obstacles. How you respond to these obstacles will define your success (or lack thereof). If you just give up in the face of difficulty, you will never achieve your goals.

 

4. Fear Dictates Your Decisions

Fear is an important evolutionary emotion that keep us safe. Don't be ashamed to feel it. However, you can't let it dictate all of your decisions. Success requires bold thinking and action. There will be times that you must ignore your fear and step out of your comfort zone.

 

5. Too Much Multitasking

Multitasking was all the rage about a decade ago. It sounds great, you get to accomplish more things all at once! The reality is, you aren't accomplishing more, you are just spreading your focus and energy thin. Would you rather do 5 things poorly, or accomplish one thing perfectly? That is often the trade-off you make when multitasking.

 

6. People Pleasing

Being able to get along with other people is a wonderful trait that will get you far. However, there is a difference between being personable and being a pushover. You need to make sure that you balance your affability with a backbone. To start - practice saying "no" more often.

 

7. Hitting the Self-Destruct Button

Sometimes self-sabotage can do more than stall your success. Sometimes it can be downright dangerous. Leaning on self-destructive habits to get through your day is not healthy. If you are relying on drugs, alcohol or any other serious bad habit, you need to talk to a professional. It isn't just your success at stake.

 

8. You Yo-Yo

Sometimes you care, and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you try, and sometimes you don't. You are excited about your goals this week, but won't even think about them next. If any of that seems familiar, you might be "yo-yoing". Success requires consistency. If you want to succeed, you can't be all in one moment, then not care the next.

 

9. Beating Yourself Up

Did you read through this list and then berate yourself for any behaviors you exhibit? This needs to stop. Everyone has issues and everyone makes mistakes. You can't beat yourself up for this. If you fail at something, try not get lost in thoughts of "I failed, I'm no good". Instead, ask yourself what you learned from that failure and move on. Treat yourself as kindly as you'd treat your best friend.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Are you making any excuses? Think honestly about your life. Are you making any excuses for your lack of success?

 

b) How can you face it? Once you have identified an excuse you are making, create a plan so that you can address it.

 

c) Take one micro-step towards your goal. Now that you have a plan, take a simple step towards achieving it. This step should be something so simple you can do it right away.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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2. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

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3. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

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TIPS REPORT 41: GETTING THROUGH TOUGH TIMES

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information.

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

One inevitable truth about life is that there will be tough times. No matter how blessed your life is, you will have to deal with some hardship. There will be times when you feel like everything is crashing down around you, and your only choice is to keep moving forward. What if the times are so tough, you are struggling to trudge on, though? In that case, keep these nine tips in mind.

 

1. Pain Is a Part of Life

The first step is to accept that pain is part of life. It might not be easy to hear, but it is the truth. The silver lining is that pain helps us grow and evolve. It's our response to pain that builds our character.

 

2. Acknowledge Your Feelings and Emotions

Go ahead and "feel your feels." There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you are upset. Cry if you need to. Get angry if you want. Scream at the world. It would be best if you didn't cast your feelings and emotions away.

 

3. Self-Care Isn't a Luxury

When dealing with a tough situation in life, it can be easy to give up self-care. This is one of the worst things you can do. If you can bring yourself to do anything, then taking care of your physical and mental needs is the priority.

 

4. Try Not to Disappear

When you struggle to deal with everything life throws at you, it's easy to withdraw into your bubble. There is nothing wrong with seeking a bit of solitude, but don't disappear into it. Take the time you need for yourself, but don't forget you have people in your life who love and support you.

 

5. Keep Your Passions Close

If you are struggling through something serious, the last things you are thinking about are your hobbies or passions. However, focusing on your passions is one of the best ways to weather tough times.

 

6. Take Action to Take Back Control

When life hits you full-on in the face with obstacles, it can feel like you have no control. You are simply along for the turbulent ride. To combat this feeling, try to take action. Instead of just letting life happen, take back control. A small, simple step is all you need to get started.

 

7. Look For the Lesson

Sometimes the only thing we take from tough times are the bruises. It's important to look for a lesson, though. What have your struggles taught you about the world, yourself, or the people you love?

 

8. Remember What You Have

No matter how bad things seem to be, you likely have some positives in your life. Use these positives as your life preserver. Keep the things or people that you love close to your heart.

 

9. Ask For Support

If you feel overwhelmed by life, reach out and ask for help. You can start with a trusted loved one, but reach out to a professional if you don't feel comfortable with that. They are there to help.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Define your struggle. If you are dealing with tough times, take a second to define exactly what that means. Acknowledge the feelings you are dealing with.

 

b) Practice gratitude. Make a list of ten things that you cherish. Focus on people, places, or things.

 

c) Take action. It might be hard, but taking a step - no matter how small - towards addressing your struggles can give you a renewed sense of hope.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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4. Journey Beyond Hardship: A Practical, Hopeful Guide for Getting Through Tough Times

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5. Colors of Loss and Healing: An Adult Coloring Book for Getting Through Tough Times

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TIPS REPORT 40: WHEN IS IT TIME TO QUIT?

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

Quite often, we view quitting in a negative light. How many times have you heard something like "Winners never quit" or "quitters never win." The thing is, quitting isn't always wrong. Sometimes quitting is the first step to us finding a new and better path. You quit your old job so that you can get a new and better job. You quit a sport, so you can focus all your energy on the one you truly love. Below you will find nine signs that it might be time to quit and move on.

 

1. Your Task Takes Your Entire Life Over

If there is any task or goal that has become so all-consuming it takes over all other areas of your life, then you might consider moving on from it. If you are devoting massive amounts of your energy, and the rest of your results are suffering, is it worth continuing?

 

2. There is an Obviously Better Opportunity

Some people are naturally very loyal. Whether it is a job, your own business, or just a goal you have been working on, it can be hard to give it up. However, if there is an obviously better opportunity around the corner, why not take it? You aren't giving up if you quit your job to take on a better role. You are leveling up.

 

3. You Feel Stuck or Stagnant

Do you feel like you are stuck in life? Maybe your career or certain goals seem to have stagnated. If so, this could be a cue that it is time to quit. Life moves fast, and if all you are doing is standing still, you could get left behind. Sometimes quitting a job or goal that keeps you stuck allows you to move forward in the long run.

 

4. You Don't Respect What You Are Doing

Not all of us are blessed to be doing work that fills us with joy and fulfillment. Sometimes we have to deal with that until we find something better. However, if you are doing something that you don't even respect, and it fills you with remorse or shame - how long can you wait before you quit?

 

5. You Are Being Undervalued

We live in a cutthroat world, and sometimes the people in our lives, be it our employers or relationships, don't value us. If you feel like a company or your romantic partner doesn't value you as much as you deserve, consider this a sign it might be time to move on.

 

6. You Are Never Happy

Do you find that you are miserable more than you are not? If so, there is likely something in your life you need to quit. It could be an unfulfilling goal, career, or relationship. Once you figure out what it is, you will likely feel instantly better once you give it up.

 

7. When All You Have Left is Your Pride

Have you ever had a goal or task you've been working on for so long that it didn't even benefit you anymore? If you are working on something that doesn't benefit you at all just because you are too prideful to quit, it is a clear sign you should at least consider it.

 

8. You Are Self-Destructive

Do you have a self-destructive side? Have you found yourself engaging in more damaging habits and behaviors? If so, there may be something in your life that isn't working. You should strive to figure out what it is. Once you do, don't be afraid to quit it and move on to something else.

 

9. Your Goal Doesn't Align With Your Values

If your goals, career, or business don't align with your values, you should consider giving it up. You can fool yourself for a little while (even a long while), but your actions not matching your values will catch up with you. Your results will suffer, and you will never feel fulfilled. If your goals don't match your values, consider dropping them and setting a new version that aligns with who you are.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Assess your current goals. Do your current goals still match your values? Are they still propelling you forward?

 

b) Assess your career. Are you happy and fulfilled? Do you have room for advancement? Do you have any other opportunities available?

 

c) Assess your relationships. Are you getting everything you need from people in your life? Is anyone holding you back or draining your energy?

 

FURTHER READING

 

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