Saturday, January 13, 2024

Missing out on family events. Going abroad part II.

This past Saturday (April 22 2023),my family in Brazil celebrated my Aunt Aurora's 99th birthday with a huge party. Over 100 family members attended, but unfortunately, I couldn't go because I am currently living in China. This is the price one has to pay when living abroad - missing out on family events. Many students ask me if I miss my family, and the answer is obviously yes. Although I know that I will see them again, I may miss some important events while I'm away. For example I remember missing my sister´s wedding while I was living in USA.

One thing to consider is that it may be easier to make the decision to go abroad when you're single. In my case, I got divorced, and I remember a family event in 2014 that I decided not to attend because I was very depressed because of my divorce.

Some people miss home so much that they don't even finish their one-year plan to live abroad. Living abroad is not the same as taking a vacation, and if you're married, going with your family can make you feel less alone. As for me, I have enjoyed living abroad. This is my third time going abroad for a long period of time (I am in China for almost 5 years now). After my divorce this was something that made me excited again. Coming to China was a new beginning and part of my healing process.

In conclusion, living abroad can be challenging, especially when you miss important family events. However, it can also be a rewarding experience that can help you grow and heal. It's important to consider your personal situation and whether or not living abroad is right for you. Ultimately, a good place is where you feel okay and happy, and there is no perfect place in the world.

Studying abroad (part 1)

Article by Marcelo Gameiro
Published 24 Apr 2023

Saturday, January 6, 2024

The most valuable thing: TIME.

This next holiday (labor day – may 01 2023) I had this girl who I did used to chat before, but we never meet yet, saying to me that perhaps the time to finally meet face to face is arriving. She was the reason I am here in Zhengzhou, I had wrote about her before here on this blogpost (link) but for some reason we did stop video chatting and we never meet, but few days ago she did contacted me about her trip to see her parents very close by, and she would visit another friend here in zhengzhou. Perhaps our opportunity finally came…

Before I tell you what happen, let me change the subject a little bit here, but I promise it is related to story about her.

We all have the same amount of time in a day: 24 hours. But why is it that some people seem to accomplish so much more than others? The answer lies in how we value and use our time. Time is the most important thing we have, and it's critical that we use it wisely.

There are several reasons why time is so important. First and foremost, time is a finite resource. We only have a limited amount of it, and once it's gone, we can never get it back. This is why time is often called our most precious commodity. It's the one thing we can't buy or earn more of, no matter how much money or success we may have. Have a look on the picture about the 5 most common regrets people have at the end of their lives below.

We all know that relationships take time and effort to maintain. But when we look back on our lives, it's often the relationships we've built that bring us the most joy and fulfillment. Whether it's our family, friends, or significant other, the time we spend with the people we love is time well spent.

Now let get back to the story of this girl who wished to visit me.

She propose to me to follow her in some place she want to visit here in Zhengzhou, and I ask her, why don’t you came to visit me here at the university (my home) ? I said we can relax and take some time to chat and see that we may get to know each other better.

After chatting for a few minutes I got the impression she did not wanted to waste her time to visit me, she just want me to go along with her other plans that she had in mind, at this point I said to her, if she wants to visit me, I would reserve my time, all my day or afternoon to spend with her, instead of visiting a museum, after all this would be our first meeting face to face, and I want to be able to talk to her than be busy doing something else.

As you can see, I was giving her the most precious thing anyone can have (time),while she did not even wanted to spend a lousy afternoon with me. So I said to her, you don’t have to visit me, there was time we did start making plans to take our friendship to next level, that is why I end up here in Zhengzhou, but now I am under the impression that our friendship is not even enough for you to want to spend one afternoon with me. After my reasoning she did agree that she will not be visiting me.

Why am I writing about this ? Let me tell you…. Here at the university where I work I have NO intention to find a girlfriend, that would be very unprofessional to say nothing about been also very unethical. My friendship with the students (male and female) would never get to the next level, but many of them treat me so much better, with more consideration than her, is not very uncommon to have students spending a long time just chatting me in various activities, English corner and so on, many times I got invitations to do something together, very simple things like walking around the block just chatting.

That is why I wanted to talk about time in the beginning of this article, because now I can say that if someone are willing to spent time with you, it means they have you in high regards. That is how you evaluate relationships.

Making lot of friends gives you lot of options and dating gives you the opportunities to evaluate those options if you want to take the relationship to the next level.

Maybe one reason some people end up with bad marriages or divorced is because they don’t have a lot of options, and in that case how can they make good decisions about a life partner if they don’t have options to choose from.

To have many friends, including good relationship with the opposite sex will give you more confidence, an insight of how the opposite sex thinks, also will increase the odds of having a more fulfilling life emotionally and socially, even a better chance to find good jobs improving your career because of your network (many friends)

So don’t under estimate people skills ability, it perhaps can be even more important than technical skills when related to career success (see this pool from the book "Captivate" by Vanessa V. Edwards on the following picture.

I know my job is to teach English, but such topic allow me some flexibility and I often bring interesting topics to discuss with the students, I have been able to help a lot of students just by given them a different perspective in life and other things they should consider, I am not better than anyone here, but I am most of the time, very much older than my students, that allows me to have more experience and give good advice. As I have tell many times before , I love my job as a teacher here in China, it has given me a lot of opportunities to help students in so many different ways, that is why I keep renewing my contract and staying one more year. When my Chinese experience come to an end, I will surely going to have so many great memories of this great people to whom I have so many friends.

Saturday, December 30, 2023

I want a girlfriend.

Today, I am going to write about an experience I had with an awesome student. His roommates had told me that he was the most studious among them, but like most of my Chinese students, he was a bit shy. I completely understand that because I used to be a shy person too. That's not a bad trait, but I have to say that shyness should not get in the way of your accomplishments, whether it's making new friends, finding a girlfriend, acing a job interview, or anything that requires people skills. People skills are very desirable and can benefit you in your personal and professional life. The following picture is an interesting point from the book "Captivate" by Vanessa V. Edwards.

Fortunately, my micro camera was on, and I was able to record our little experiment, which consisted of making new friends that night. While having dinner with some Chinese students, we talked about many things, including how to find a girlfriend. I can tell you that it can be very intimidating if you are a shy person, like I was before. But today, it's the easiest thing in the world for me to approach strangers and start a conversation, and very often, we exchange WeChat contacts and become friends. Finding a girlfriend can become an easy and natural process if you have no problem chatting with girls. So, I did not propose to my Chinese friend that we would find him a girlfriend. Instead, I suggested we start a process that will make him more confident, increase his people skills, and help him overcome his shyness.

I found out that most university students don't make many friends while in university. They usually become friends with their roommates and some of their classmates, and that's usually it. The question I want you to consider is: "Where in the world will you have the same opportunity that you have right now in university?" Please note that most people on campus are at the same age, are university students themselves, and are basically at the same level intellectually and financially. They also have a good perspective on life, as they will have a university degree in a few years (not everyone has that). The most important aspect I want to stress is that all these people are together in one place for a few years. What a wonderful opportunity to meet people and make new friends, and perhaps even meet the girl you will marry in the future. The odds are in your favor here and now during your university years. After this, you will likely not be in a place where it will be so easy to meet new people like now.

So, we dismissed his roommates, grabbed a cup of juice, and went about walking around the canteen, looking for a table to sit together with some girls. After we decided on one table with two cute girls, I took the lead and approached them, as I do practically every day. After we sat with them, my Chinese friend took the lead and started chatting with the girls. Of course, he was doing much better than me because I don't speak Chinese. After a few minutes, we asked the girls if we could have their WeChat and took pictures together. It was fun, and we just made new friends.

This is not the actual picture of todays little challenge, but for me that is what I do most the time, new friends while eating.

That experience was nice. If it had not been nice because the girls did not want to sit with us, I would say please do not let rejection affect you so much that you would stop making friends. It will happen eventually, but you should keep the process going. In my experience, most people are nice, and they will say yes to you. The usual outcome is to make a new friend, and if someone says no to me, I usually go to the next table and so on until I find someone who says yes.

Let's go back to the topic of finding a girlfriend. So this is a process who will get him where he wants to be. What He have started and keep pushing himself out of his comfort zone will definitely improve him and his people skills. Making new friends and improving people skills can open up new opportunities for personal and professional growth, and you never know who you might meet along the way. So, take advantage of the wonderful opportunities that university provides, and don't let shyness or fear hold you back. Keep approaching new people, striking up conversations, and building your network. With time and practice, you will become more confident, and making new friends will become second nature to you.

To conclude this article, I want to extend my congratulations to my friend who took up the challenge of approaching a group of girls with me to make new friends. It takes a lot of courage to step out of your comfort zone like that, especially for the first time. However, I can assure you that it becomes easier with practice. The more you put yourself out there, the more comfortable you will become.

In fact, this is such great advice that I'm passing it on to my own kids: make as many friends as possible, including girls. Having more options is always better than having no options at all. This is what we call networking. By getting to know more people, you'll have a more fulfilling life, and it will become easier to find a life partner or even a job.

If you're interested, you can watch the YouTube recording of us chatting with the girls that I mentioned in this post. Additionally, I've included a related articles below that you might find helpful.

I wish you find this useful and Good luck on your journey!

1. She knows where she is going to.

2. Join our English Corner to Improve Your Language Skills and Make New Friends.

3. Networking is an essential part of building a successful career.

4. Dating During College Years.

5. Make the Most of Your Time in College.

6. Friends

7. The Benefits of Making Friends with OTHER Students from other courses.

Saturday, December 23, 2023

The tea ceremony

The tea ceremony, also known as the Chinese tea culture, is a long-standing tradition in China that dates back to ancient times. This ceremony involves the preparation and serving of tea in a particular manner that emphasizes harmony, respect, and tranquility.

In China, the tea ceremony is usually held in a teahouse or a traditional Chinese garden, which is typically decorated with elegant and calming elements like bamboo, rocks, and flowers. Before the ceremony begins, guests are greeted with a cup of tea and seated in a specific order that reflects their social status.

Tea Ceremony video

The host of the ceremony is responsible for preparing the tea, which involves a series of precise and deliberate movements. The tea leaves are rinsed with hot water to remove any impurities, and then placed in a teapot with fresh hot water. The tea is then poured into small teacups in a specific order, with the cups being filled to a specific level that reflects the guest's status.

Once the tea has been served, guests are expected to hold the cup with both hands and take a small sip, appreciating the tea's aroma and flavor. After the first sip, the guests will then engage in a conversation about the tea, discussing its quality, origin, and other related topics.

Throughout the ceremony, the host will continue to pour tea, keeping the guests' cups filled and ensuring that everyone is comfortable and relaxed. The tea ceremony is a time-honored tradition in China that emphasizes hospitality, respect, and mindfulness, making it a unique and memorable experience for both locals and visitors.

Saturday, December 16, 2023

The Power of Language Learning: Making Lifelong Connections Through English Corner in Jiujiang

Tecky and I met at the English corner in Jiujiang, and she quickly became a close friend. We would spend hours chatting about all sorts of topics, and we even started having dinner together at the canteen from time to time. Through Tecky, I discovered new activities and places that I never would have known about otherwise. As a teacher, I found that English corner was not just a way to improve students language skills, but as for as a teacher also a great way to make lasting connections with people.

YouTube Video

Recently, Tecky shared a video she made as part of her latest English class project, showcasing the beauty of Jiujiang. Her video highlighted the stunning Lushan Mountain, a place that I had visited many times during my time living there. I was amazed by her creativity and talent in putting together such a beautiful and informative video.

Tecky's video reminded me of the many wonderful experiences I had during my time in Jiujiang, and I am grateful to have had such a wonderful friend to share them with. Our friendship is a testament to the power of language learning to bring people from different cultures and backgrounds together.

My Chinese Experience. (4 years illustrate story of my stay in China as a University teacher)

Saturday, December 9, 2023

The biggest looser or the greatest enjoyment?

As I stepped into the sprawling playground, my heart pounding with excitement, I was dressed to the nines in my formal suit and tie for the opening ceremony of the sports meet. Along with other teachers, I took in the lively atmosphere, soaking in the buzz of anticipation that seemed to electrify the air.

As the day wore on, my formal attire seemed to chafe against my skin, and I yearned to participate in the events that lay before me. So, I dashed back to my home and slipped into my comfy casuals. With renewed vigor, I plunged headlong into the fray, taking part in everything from running to jumping.

As I stumbled through the last lap of the relay, my team was in first place, but I trailed far behind, feeling like the biggest loser. However, that didn't dampen my spirits, as I was there to have the greatest fun. Besides, my team was understanding and supportive, not focusing on winning alone but on the joy of participating with one another.

It wasn't just the sporting activities that made my time at the meet so memorable, though. On the second day, I took my trusty camera along, hoping to capture some great shots of the event. As I snapped away from a distance, I was struck by the friendly camaraderie that seemed to imbue everyone I met. I chatted with students, teachers, and other camera enthusiasts, swapping tips and stories. It was a wonderful opportunity to forge new friendships and connections.

In the end, the Henan University of Engineering sports meet turned out to be a fantastic experience, brimming with excitement, laughter, and memories that will last a lifetime.

RED / ORANGE

Saturday, November 25, 2023

She knows where she is going to.

Today, I want to share a story about a girl who is doing well in her studies, pursuing two majors simultaneously. Despite her busy schedule, she recognizes the importance of finding the right partner to bring happiness and fulfillment into her life.

I met her at a university activity where she offered to help me navigate the various activities. During our time together, we talked about various aspects of life, including personal relationships. I've noticed a trend among many young women who prioritize their careers over marriage. While it's admirable to focus on building a successful career, it's important to remember that true fulfillment comes from meaningful relationships. Marriage can be a significant part of that.

Many people approach marriage with skepticism, thinking that it's not as good as it used to be. However, I believe that marrying the right person can make a huge difference in someone's life. It's essential to approach it with the right expectations and the understanding that a successful marriage can bring immense joy.

The girl I met has found a balance between her career aspirations and her plans for a family. She met her boyfriend in college and is in love with him. Together, they have plans for the future while working on their careers. It's crucial to recognize that having a fulfilling life goes beyond just having a successful career. While money can make life easier, it doesn't necessarily make us happier.

I want to encourage students to consider the possibility that they may regret not pursuing relationships in the future. While it's important to focus on building a career, it's equally important not to exclude the possibility of marriage from their plans. A balanced approach is key.

I was happy to meet this girl who has a well-thought-out plan for her future, including a balance between her career and personal life. While nothing is guaranteed, having a plan increases our chances of success. I wish her all the best in her endeavors, and I hope she finds happiness in her future with her boyfriend.

It's important to note that postponing marriage for too long may not always be the best decision for a girl. While it's important to focus on one's career and aspirations, it's also important to keep in mind that as one gets older, it may become more difficult to find a suitable partner. Often, when a girl is younger, there are more prospective candidates for marriage, and it can be easier to find someone who will support her in her aspirations. It's a common misconception that marriage means giving up everything else, but that's not the case. In fact, a supportive partner can help a woman achieve her goals and make her life more fulfilling. Ultimately, the decision to get married or not should be based on the individual's desires and goals in life, but it's important to consider all factors, including the potential challenges of finding a partner later in life.

Finally, I want to emphasize that finding the right partner is a significant decision, and it's important not to let go of someone special when you find them. The girl I met is a catch, and I hope her boyfriend recognizes that.

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