TIPS REPORT 19: SIGNS YOU COMPLAIN TOO MUCH

This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested reading for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

I get it. I really do. There is a lot to complain about in our lives. And yeah, it can be really helpful just to let it rip and vent to a good friend or colleague. There is such thing as "too much," though. If you are consistently negative and always complaining, people will tune you out, or worse yet - avoid you. If you want to avoid being labeled a serial complainer, check out these nine signs you complain too much.

 

1. You Tend to Be Negative in General

One of the biggest signs that you complain too much is that you are negative in general. If you are one of those who wallow in negativity and struggle to see the positive sides of things, you almost surely bring this attitude into your conversations.

 

2. You'd Rather Rant About Problems Than Solve Them

When you talk about the problems in your life, do you tend to discuss solutions to solve them? If not, you may complain too much. Discussing your problems is perfectly natural and even therapeutic, but if you never talk about solving these problems, you are just complaining.

 

3. You Claim You Are Just Realistic

Do you find yourself constantly reassuring people you aren't negative, you are just realistic? If so, you assuredly complain too much. If you were just realistic, you would have a mix of negative and positive comments and wouldn't have to defend yourself.

 

4. People Tell You That You Complain Too Much

This is one of the clearest signs that you are a chronic complainer. If people feel like they need to tell you that you complain too much, you complain too much. It isn't easy to tell a loved one or colleague that they complain too much. If multiple people are telling you, rest assured many other people feel the same way.

 

5. You Are Too Hard On Yourself

People who are way too tough on themselves are likely complainers as well. If you are constantly complaining about yourself in your head, that likely transfers into your conversations. People who are too hard on themselves often expect more from other people, and when those expectations aren't met, they turn to complaining.

 

6. You Dwell on the Past

Are you the type of person who is always dwelling on the past? If so, you might also complain too much. People who dwell on the past too much often talk about it too much as well. If you can't shake the past, make sure you aren't the type of person who always complains about it.

 

7. You Notice People Avoid You

Have you noticed that people are slower to respond to your messages or are less likely to make plans these days? That could be for many reasons, but it could also be a sign that you complain too much. While most friends are more than willing to hear you vent, they may tire of it if you don't talk about anything else but your complaints.

 

8. You Spend a Lot of Time With Complainers

Do you find that most of your social circle complains a lot? Like-minded people tend to find each other. If constant complainers surround you, then you are likely a complainer yourself.

 

9. You Focus on The Obstacles in Your Life

Are you the type of person that focuses on all of the obstacles and barriers in your life? Do you say things like "I could do this if it weren't for..." or "I'd be happy if I didn't have..." If so, there is a good chance you are a complainer. People who focus on the obstacles in their life tend to also complain about them.

 

ACTIONABLE STEPS

 

 

a) Check-in with yourself. Do an honest assessment and ask yourself if you might complain too much.

 

b) Check-in with a loved one. It can be hard to be honest with yourself, so asked a loved one if they think you complain too much.

 

c) Can you address the complaints? Take one single step towards dealing with whatever you complain about the most.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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TIPS REPORT 18: LIVE LIFE MORE STRATEGICALLY

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested reading for those who are looking for even more information.

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

When you think of strategic planning, you probably picture a room full of executives in a large corporate meeting room. While that may be valid, we can invite that same kind of strategy into our own lives. Those corporate suits are simply devising a plan to accomplish their goals. Doesn't that sound like something that could help you right now? If you feel disappointed with your life results, consider these nine ways to live life more strategically.

 

1. Do You Have a Plan?

What do you want out of life? Do you have a life plan? If you don't have a plan or mission in life, it will be hard to live strategically. It might not feel spontaneous to plan out your entire life, but having an overall plan will ensure you are working towards the life you want. Plus, life is so unpredictable, there will be plenty of excitement!

 

2. Set Specific Goals

Having an overall life plan or mission was a great start, but you also need to get specific. Set some specific goals you want to achieve. Focus your goals on both the long and short term. Remember, specificity is important. "I want to retire early" isn't a goal. It's a dream. A goal is: "I want to retire when I am 55, with X amount of dollars saved."

 

3. Ask Yourself Tough Questions

Strategic living means you need to get real with yourself. You need to ask yourself the tough questions like "Do I have the skills to achieve my goals/" "Am I wasting my time?" "Am I on the right track?" Be honest with yourself, and then figure out strategic ways to address your weaknesses or failings.

 

4. Observe Trends

'Trendy" is often used as a bad word, but why? Observing trends (both your own and the world around you) is a powerful tool for those who want to live more strategically. A quick example - many of us are saving for the future. How much better off would we have been had we observed and reacted to the cryptocurrency trend?

 

5. Track Any and Everything

Strategic people track as much info as they can. After all, the more data and information you have, the more informed your decisions will be. A quick way to get started is to track your wins or successes. You might spot a pattern that makes future success even easier. Other things to track include your time, emotions, etc...

 

6. Reflect and Adjust

While there is something admirable about those who put their blinders on and run head-on towards their goals, this isn't always the most strategic choice. You need to make (i.e., schedule it!) time for reflection. What is working? What isn't working? Adjust your goals to reflect this information.

 

7. Are You Taking Care of Yourself?

Strategic living isn't just about your career or finances. You want to make smart decisions about every area of your life. A big part of strategic living is making sure you take care of your own needs. How can you reach your life's goals if you aren't healthy or managing your stress?

 

8. Communicate Your Life Plan With Loved Ones

You don't have to go around shouting your life's plans to everyone, but it is helpful to let the people closest to you know. This way, people will know what you are working towards, and they can make sure they aren't working against that. It also builds accountability and creates a support system you can lean on when needed.

 

9. Never Stop Learning

A big part of being strategic is recognizing your weaknesses or lack of knowledge and then addressing them. A wonderful way to do this is to commit to lifelong learning. This not only keeps you sharp but also keeps your skills and knowledge up to date. You will find reaching your goals more attainable when you never stop learning.

 

ACTIONABLE STEPS

 

a) Reflect on what you want out of life. Think about what your ideal life would look and feel like.

 

b) Create a life mission statement. While it might be hard to encapsulate what you want in life into a single paragraph, it's a powerful exercise to do so.

 

c) Your first step. What is the first step you can take towards this new life? Focus on something simple and easy you can do at this moment (a good first step is further planning.)

 

FURTHER READING

 

Affiliate links:

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TIPS REPORT 17: NINE WAYS TO RUIN AN APOLOGY

 

This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested reading for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

You can call it cancel culture run amok, or you can call it people being held accountable for their actions. Either way, there is no doubt we live in the era of the apology. With so many "heartfelt" apologies offered daily, you'd think you could learn a lot about how to craft a good sincere one. Not really, though... What we have learned is how easy it is to ruin an apology. If you feel the need to offer someone a sincere apology, here are nine things you should certainly avoid:

 

1. "I'm sorry you feel that way"

This isn't even an apology when you think about it. You aren't apologizing for anything that you have done. You are putting the onus on the other person. This kind of apology makes it seem like the other person did something wrong. There is no accountability here.

 

2. 'I'm sorry, but..."

Any apology that includes a "but" is pretty much worthless. No matter what you said before it, once you add the "but, "your apology becomes less about acknowledging you did something wrong and more about pointing fingers to justify your actions.

 

3. "I apologized; let's just drop it"

While giving an apology is great, it doesn't mean you can avoid a tough conversation about what happened. When you offer a sincere apology, you should be willing to talk about what you did wrong and why you won't do it again moving forward.

 

4. You are Too Vague

When you apologize, make sure you are specific about what you did. "I am sorry I hurt you" is fine on the surface, but it completely avoids addressing what you did specifically. You need to apologize for what you did, not the effect it had on the other party.

 

5. Expecting an Apology in Return

A sincere apology is given with no strings attached. Even if you don't feel like you were the only one wrong in a given situation, you shouldn't apologize and expect one in return. When you apologize, you should focus on your actions, not the actions of others.

 

6. Not Showing Remorse

You can say all the right things, but if you do it in a manner that clearly shows you don't care or have any remorse, then your words are worthless. If you are rolling your eyes, just going through the motions, or otherwise unbothered, your apology isn't worth much.

 

7. Insisting on Forgiveness

An apology is just the first step towards forgiveness. You can't apologize and expect forgiveness right after. Once you have apologized, you can hopefully move towards forgiveness, but it isn't for sure, and it isn't instantaneous.

 

8. You Refuse to Listen

An apology is as much about listening as it is talking. If you don't give the other person a chance to speak, then what is the point? Don't speak over the person, and when it's your turn to listen, do it actively and make sure you hear what they are saying.

 

9. You Repeat Your Transgression

There is no single worse way to ruin an apology than by making the same mistake again. Why apologize if you aren't going to change your actions? It instantly voids your apology, and you likely won't get another chance to apologize.

 

ACTIONABLE STEPS

 

a) Do some serious reflection and figure out if you owe anyone an apology. Write down who you owe an apology to and why you owe them one.

 

b) Draft a potential apology, making sure to avoid the mistakes we listed.

 

c) All that is left is to deliver your apology!

 

FURTHER READING

 

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TIPS REPORT 16: HOW TO BE LESS AWKWARD

 

This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested reading for those who are looking for even more information.

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

 

TOP TIPS

Do you ever feel a little bit awkward? If so, don't worry - you are far from alone. Many people feel a bit socially awkward in certain situations. If you feel awkward now and then, it might be as simple as not picking up on social cues or misunderstanding body language. Whatever the reason, the following nine tips can help you address that awkward feeling once and for all.

 

1. Get Out of Your Head

This tip is easier said than done, but you need to get out of your head. If you are constantly worried about being awkward, you likely will be. If you find your mind is spiraling with worry and self-doubt, you will struggle in social situations. Try to center yourself, and engage in social situations with an open mind.

 

2. Learn More About Social Norms

A lot of awkwardness comes down to not knowing social norms. You might not have learned these social cues growing up, so it doesn't hurt to brush up on them. There is no shortage of information on the internet to help you learn more about societal norms and how to react to them.

 

3. Keep Your Phone Handy

Your phone can be your savior in awkward situations. For example, I hate elevator small-talk, so I make sure I am immersed in my phone when someone gets on. You don't want to be constantly on your phone in social situations, but feel free to use it if it will defuse an awkward situation.

 

4. Don't Show Up Late

Showing up on time or early to social engagements has two main benefits. First, it gives you time to get used to your surroundings. More importantly, when you show up late, all eyes will be on you, which will certainly exacerbate your awkwardness.

 

5. Put Yourself Out There

If you feel awkward in social situations, you aren't doing yourself any favors by avoiding them. You need to embrace social engagements as often as you feel comfortable doing so. The more you put yourself out there, the easier it will be to fit in.

 

6. Invite a Close Friend Out With You

Having a close friend with you is a great way to battle your awkwardness. This is especially true if you bring along one of your friends who is socially adept. You can learn from them by mirroring their behavior. Also, it's nice to have someone trusted you could turn to if things start getting a bit awkward.

 

7. Develop Your Confidence

This is another tip that is a bit easier said than done. However, there are ways you can build up your confidence, and you must do so. A lot of awkwardness is born from a lack of confidence. If you are more confident, you will feel more prepared and less awkward in social situations.

 

8. Ask More Questions

If you are in a conversation that seems to be lagging a bit and bordering on awkwardness, try to ask more questions. Focus on open-ended questions that keep the other person talking. You'll quickly learn that you can easily avoid awkwardness by giving certain people a chance to talk about themselves.

 

9. Worry Less About Others

A lot of our awkwardness is born out of worry about what others will think of us. We worry that they will think we are weird, stupid, or annoying if we say something. The reality is, most people aren't that interested in others, to begin with. Worrying about other people's opinions will do nothing but contribute to your awkwardness.

 

ACTIONABLE STEPS

 

a) Think of a couple of go-to stories. A great way to deal with awkwardness is to prepare in advance. Having a couple of interesting stories in your back pocket will help you feel better.

 

b) Do you have an event or social gathering coming up? Think of a friend that you could bring along to make things go a bit smoother.

 

c) Brush up on social norms, cues, or body language. A quick Google search should bring up thousands of free resources.

 

FURTHER READING

 

Affiliate links:

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TIPS REPORT 15: HOW TO TELL SOMEONE IS LYING

 

This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested reading for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

You might not like to admit it, but you have likely been lied to hundreds of times in your life. For the most part, these lies are usually small, inconsequential comments that don't have much of an impact on your life. However, sometimes these lies hurt or seriously mislead us. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to spot a lie before it affected your life? Below are nine ways that you can stop a lie before it negatively impacts your life.

 

1. They Have a History of Dishonesty

If you think someone is lying to you, the first thing you should consider is your history with them. Have they lied to you before? Are they typically dishonest? This might not identify them as a liar outright, but it is a red flag to consider.

 

2. Establish a Baseline

One of the biggest indicators someone is lying is when they start acting differently than usual. For example, research shows that lack of eye contact on its own isn't an indicator of deceit, but if the person normally meets your gaze, then it may be. Watch for out-of-character actions.

 

3. They Use Hand Gestures After They Speak

Many of us use hand gestures as we talk or before we talk, but professionals have noticed that liars tend to make their hand gestures after they have spoken. It is almost as if keeping up with the lie in their head slows down their hand gestures.

 

4. They are Rocking Back and Forth or Fidgeting

If you find that someone is fidgeting back and forth a lot, then they may be lying. Keep in mind there are plenty of reasons a person may be fidgety, including medical issues and shyness. However, if the fidgetiness is out of character, that's a red flag.

 

5. They Are Overly Vague

A sign someone might be dishonest is if the story they are feeding you is super vague and avoiding any kind of detail. They might be glossing over important details or ignoring others altogether. This vagueness is certainly something to keep an eye out for.

 

6. They Repeat Questions Before Answering Them

This is a classic technique for a liar to buy some more time before they answer. You have likely dealt with this before. Have you ever been part of a conversation like: "Where were you last night?" "Where was I last night?" That last question is likely someone trying to buy some time to think about an answer.

 

7. What Does Their Smile Say?

A fake smile is often a good indication that someone is lying to you. If they are faking the smile, what else are they dishonest about? A good way to spot a fake smile is if the lips are smiling, but it doesn't reach the rest of their face. A genuine smile reaches a person's eyes and brows.

 

8. Ask Them a Lot of Questions

Remember we mentioned that liar's stories are often vague? This is because they don't want to keep track of the details. Don't give them a chance. If you think someone is lying to you, ask them questions, and keep asking them. You are likely to catch them red-handed when they get tripped up and forget one of their details.

 

9. Are They Speaking in a Higher-Pitched Voice?

One potential sign someone is lying is if their voice is higher-pitched than usual. This is easier to notice in someone you already know. If you know they don't usually talk in a high-pitched voice but are all of a sudden; then you might be listening to a liar.

 

ACTIONABLE STEPS

 

a) Reflect on if there are any situations in your life where someone might be lying to you. Don't worry about small lies. Try to think about something more serious.

 

b) Once you have chosen the potential lie, write down reasons it may be a lie. Then consider some reasons why it might not be a lie. Consider each side carefully.

 

c) After this, if you feel confident you are being lied to, confront the person. Remember to keep the above nine tips in mind when you do so.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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TIPS REPORT 14: SOCIAL SKILLS FOR SUCCESS

 

This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested reading for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

No matter how introverted or isolated you may feel at times, we all live in a "society." Brushing up on our social skills is vital to our success. Our era's social and technological changes have made social skills an absolute necessity, especially in our careers. There have been studies done to try and prove this point. Research from Greece has shown how important employers and colleagues find social skills.

If you want to brush up on your social skills, focus on these nine for ultimate success.

 

1. Empathy

Essentially, empathy is the ability to understand other people and what they are feeling. Empathy is an important skill for anyone who deals with any clients. Knowing what makes people tick can also help you better navigate the corporate world as well.

 

2. Communication

Communication is a vital skill when it comes to success. You could be the smartest person in the world, but if you can't effectively communicate your ideas, then no one will ever know. An important part of communication is listening, as well, so make sure you practice your active listening skills.

 

3. Leadership

Even if you aren't in a leadership position, this is an important social skill to have. You never know when you will be called upon to take up some sort of leadership role. Whether you work for yourself or others, you will often find yourself in a position to manage others.

 

4. Adaptability

This skill could have easily been top of the list, especially in our fast-changing world. When it comes to social skills, adaptability means you can fit in seamlessly. If you need to take on a leadership role, you can handle it. But, if you need to play the role of worker-bee, you can handle that as well. You can accept the role needed, and you can thrive working with all sorts of people.

 

5. Body Language

You can say a lot without ever opening your mouth. It is important to learn about body language because it is a big part of any first impression you make. Unchecked body language can lead to misunderstandings and reflect poorly on your attitude. Conversely, you can use body language to your advantage by projecting confidence.

 

6. Positivity

Positivity might not seem like a "social" skill initially, but it can certainly help your social interactions. Being positive will attract people and helps to foster an overall enjoyable social experience. Just think about it; would you rather spend time with positive or negative people?

 

7. Conflict Resolution

No matter what your career or business is, you will deal with conflict. Conflict is simply a part of business, and more aptly, life. Being able to navigate these conflicts and diffuse them will make a world of difference in your day-to-day life and career.

 

8. Patience

Most of the time, our impatience runs thin because of other people. Maybe they are late, or you are waiting on a response, or you need them to finish something so you can move on with your work. Fostering patience in these scenarios is important. You don't want to be a pushover, but you need to manage your expectations. If not, you will stress out yourself and your team.

 

9. Affability

What is the point of working on your social skills if people don't want to be around you? Affability is just being friendly or easy to talk to. This skill is vital for just about all of your social interactions. Being the type of person people want to spend time with can only help your journey towards success.

 

ACTIONABLE STEPS

 

a) Take a good look at the list we provided and try to figure out which of these social skills you need to work on the most.

 

b) Once you identify the social skill you need to work on, brainstorm a list of ways that you can acquire or strengthen this skill.

 

c) Choose one way to strengthen your chosen skill from the list your brainstormed. Focus on a simple step you can take ASAP. Now go ahead and take it!

 

FURTHER READING

 

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TIPS REPORT 13: NINE BEST THINGS TO DO AT HOME ALONE

This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested reading for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

With the way things are going these days, a lot of us find ourselves spending more time alone than ever before. While some introverts may enjoy this new-founded alone time, other people are really struggling. One of the best ways to cope with these feelings of isolation and loneliness is to discover things you can do at home alone. Below you will find a list of 9 activities you can embrace when home alone.

 

1. Pamper Yourself with a Spa Day

Not every activity you do has to be directly productive. In fact, one of the most productive steps you can take is to spoil yourself. Set some mood lighting, put on some soothing music, and take a nice luxurious bath. If that's not your thing, find another way to pamper yourself.

 

2. Enjoy Your Favorite Treat

While you might not want to over-indulge in your favorite treats, there is nothing wrong with enjoying yourself once in a while. A great way to brighten a dark day is to spoil yourself with your favorite food.

 

3. Dance Like No One is Looking

Those of us who share our dance steps with Elaine from Seinfeld might not love breaking out our moves on a crowded dance floor. When you are home alone, though, no one can see or judge you. Crank your favorite tunes, and let loose with your best dance moves.

 

4. Reflect on Your Life

Alone time is one of the best times for you to sit back and reflect on your life. You can think about what's working and what isn't. You can consider the things you like versus things you'd like to improve. Writing this in a journal is a wonderful habit to get into while spending some alone time at home.

 

5. Do a Deep Clean

Cleaning isn't exactly the most enjoyable task, but the feeling of sitting in your freshly cleaned space is wonderful. When you are home alone, you will find it's much easier to clean because no one is getting in your way or instantly undoing the hard work you have just done.

 

6. Read a Book

Reading a book, you have meant to read for a while is the perfect way to spend some alone time. You can give the book your full attention and escape into its pages. Don't get bogged down by a book you don't enjoy, though. If you aren't captivated early, consider choosing something else.

 

7. Practice or Learn a New Skill

Do you have any new skills you want to learn? II have heard of more people taking up things like baking and cross stitch in the past year than ever before. Are there any similar hobbies you'd like to start? What about an old hobby that you haven't had time for? Maybe it is time to pick it back up!

 

8. Do Something You've Been Putting Off

This might sound like a nightmare, but you likely have plenty of tasks around the house that you've been putting off. Spending your alone time addressing at least one of those tasks is sure to pay off in the satisfaction of accomplishment.

 

9. Make a Plan

If you want to lean into something more productive, why not spend some time plotting your next moves? Use your alone time to set some new goals, envision your future, and help figure out your next few steps. Every second you put into goal-setting and planning will be paid back in the long run.

 

ACTIONABLE STEPS

 

a) Brainstorm a List - Think of as many ways as possible to spoil or pamper yourself. There are no wrong answers here.

 

b) Pick a Book - Choose a book that interests you. This can be a classic you've always wanted to read, or something simpler that caught your attention.

 

c) Do It! - Don't wallow in your solitude any longer. Embrace it. Get up and do something for yourself, and only yourself, right now!

 

FURTHER READING

 

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