TIPS REPORT 12: HOW TO SPEAK UP

This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested reading for those who are looking for even more information. ©

 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are desperate to jump in and say your piece, but instead, you stew in silence? If you can relate to this, you might have trouble speaking up. This is a serious issue. If you aren't willing or able to speak up for yourself, rest assured that no one else will either. No concerns, issues, questions, or solutions you might have in your head will ever materialize if you can't speak up at the right time. If you'd like to be the type of person who speaks up when their best interests are at stake, please consider these nine tips.

 

1. Know What You Stand For

When you take the time to figure out what matters to you, you will be more likely to speak up on those interests. Knowing what's important is a good way to figure out when you should speak up versus staying quiet.

 

2. Be Ready

If you struggle speaking up, trying to wing it at the moment is going to be intimidating. Make sure you plan and prepare yourself in advance whenever possible. If you have a meeting you know you want to bring something up, then have all your talking points ready.

 

3. Start Small

One of the only ways to get over an inability to speak up is to start doing it. It might be too intimidating to start on a grand scale, so try and start small. An example of starting small would be speaking up in a one-on-one situation.

 

4. Write Down What You Want to Say

Some people are much better at writing their thoughts than verbally expressing them. While you can't hand in a paper during a big work meeting, having your thoughts written down already will give you time to practice your delivery.

 

5. Find An Early Opening

The longer you sit in silence, the harder it will be for you to speak up. You will give your mind too much time to create a bunch of excuses why you shouldn't. Also, finding an early opening ensures you have the time to get your point across.

 

6. Recognize It's Hard but Worthwhile

It doesn't help for you to pretend speaking up is easy. Acknowledge that it will be a challenge, but realize it will be worth it. Research into "Realistic Optimism" has shown that people are more likely to follow through if they expect a task to be challenging. https://hbr.org/2011/05/be-an-optimist-without-being-a

 

7. Your Voice Deserves to Be Heard

You have a unique voice, outlook ad understanding of things. Your thoughts and opinions are important and valuable. If you can't accept and believe this, you will never be able to speak up for yourself.

 

8. Stop Worrying About Others' Thoughts

It's perfectly fine to consider other people's feelings before you speak. However, it's important not to go overboard. Don't worry about everyone else agreeing with you or looking stupid. If you have something important to say, then say it.

 

9. Learn the Art of Diplomacy

Sometimes it's best to be as direct and blunt as possible. Other times, it can help you to be a bit more diplomatic. The less aggressive you have to be, the easier you will find it to speak up for yourself.

 

ACTIONABLE STEPS

 

a) Make a list of times where you didn't speak out and you should have. Note how each time may have negatively impacted you.

 

b) Think about an important issue you are dealing with, and devise a way to speak up about it.

 

c) The next time you feel the urge to speak up about something, just jump right in and do it. It could be as simple as correcting a server who misheard your order.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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TIPS REPORT 11: SPRING-CLEAN YOUR LIFE

 

This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested reading for those who are looking for even more information. ©

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

When you think of spring-cleaning, you probably think of the time of year where you go all out cleaning up your house. You know the time you move the fridge and sweep out all the nooks and crevices. What if you took that same idea, but instead of cleaning your physical surroundings, you tidied up your life? If you don't quite understand what that means, here are nine examples that can get you started.

 

1. Take Stock

Before you start to spring-clean your life, you should take careful stock of how you are currently doing. Do you have goals? How are they going? Are there any areas of your life you'd like to change up? Taking stock of where you are at will help you direct your energy where it's needed.

 

2. Clean Up Your Relationships

Do you have any toxic relationships? Maybe it is time to part ways with these people. If the people in your life don't cheer you up, lift you up or build you up, why are they in your life anyway?

 

3. Tidy Up Your Habits

It might be time to clean up those bad habits of yours. Bad habits add up over time and cost you in the long run. If you feel like you already do a good job of that, focus on building some new positive habits.

 

4. Clear Your Mind

We all got a lot going on in our heads. Maybe you should take some time to clean things up a bit. Developing a daily meditation practice is a great way to clear your mind. You might also try journaling. Getting those thoughts spinning around in your head onto paper can make a world of difference.

 

5. Unplug

Technology is great, but sometimes we need to unplug and live in the moment. Don't be afraid to prune some of our social media accounts. Aim to spend less time on your devices and more time just taking in the world around you.

 

6. Refresh Your Fitness Routine

Has your fitness routine got boring or stale? Do you even have a fitness routine? Why not shake things up? Spring-cleaning is all about out with old and in with the new. Find a new exercise, sport, or activity that gets you excited, and try to fit it into your daily routine.

 

7. Sort Your Diet

A great way to tidy up your life is to clean up your diet a bit. Think about adding more natural whole foods and cut down on your guilty pleasures. Find a healthy way of eating that you can sustain.

 

8. Organize Your Workspace

This is almost real spring-cleaning! Organizing your workspace is a great way to boost your productivity and get more excited about working in general. Reorganizing is less about cleaning and more about making sure every item has its space and every space has a purpose.

 

9. Rearrange Your Goals

For the vast majority of people, some of their goals work out, and some don't. This is why it's important to adjust your goals once in a while. Figure out what is working, and double down on that. Find out what isn't working, and figure out why. Make it a regular practice to check in on your goals.

 

ACTIONABLE STEPS

 

a) Reflect on the past year of your life. Make a list of things that worked and another list of things that didn't. This will help you direct your "cleaning" efforts.

 

b) Tidy up your social media by unfollowing the people who constantly annoy or push your buttons. Think about who matters to you, and unfollow those that don't.

 

c) Schedule your spring-cleaning time into your calendar. Choose a few days over the upcoming weeks to focus solely on tidying up your life.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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2. Winning the War in Your Mind: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

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TIPS REPORT 10: STOP MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES

 

This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested reading for those who are looking for even more information. ©

 This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. After all, making mistakes is one of the key ways we learn, grow and build all sorts of important qualities like persistence and resilience. Mistakes become a problem when we keep repeating the same ones. When we continually repeat the same mistake, we aren't learning anything from it. Worst yet, repeating the same mistakes stalls any positive progress we may be making in life. If this sounds familiar, and you are ready to stop making the same mistakes, consider these nine tips.

 

1. Identify the Mistakes You Repeat

You can't take action on your mistakes until you identify and acknowledge them. Strive to be more aware of the present moment. If you make a mistake, ask yourself if this is something you keep doing. Once you have an idea of the mistakes you keep making, you can correct them.

 

2. Why Does This Keep Happening?

Once you have singled out a mistake (or more) that you keep repeating, ask yourself why this keeps happening. Getting to the root cause of why you are repeatedly making the same mistake is important because it allows you to address the underlying cause.

 

3. How Do My Mistakes Harm Me?

A great way to avoid making the same mistakes again is to carefully consider how they are harming you. When you identify your mistakes' negative impact, you will naturally feel more motivated to stop them.

 

4. Learn a Lesson from Your Mistakes

A mistake isn't a problem if it teaches you a lesson. Make sure that you take a lesson from each mistake you make. When it comes to recurring mistakes, the lesson should be identifying ways to avoid making a mistake again.

 

5. Make a Plan

If you are struggling to avoid certain mistakes, make a plan of attack. Take the time to write down steps you can take to address the mistake. This simple act not only gives you a plan to take action on, but it also helps your subconscious recognize the mistake (hopefully) before it happens again.

 

6. Change Your Habits

If you keep doing the same things, you are going to keep making the same mistakes. It might be time for you to switch things up a bit. By building positive habits (or avoiding negative ones), you change the way you do things. Ideally, this means you will get different results, which may be enough to avoid certain recurring mistakes.

 

7. Address Your Weaknesses

Once you have identified your recurring mistakes, check to see if they are caused in part by any weaknesses you have. If so, consider taking the steps needed to address those weaknesses. If you can't address a weakness on your own, consider asking a close friend for help.

 

8. Apologies Must Mean Something

If you repeatedly make the type of mistakes you have to apologize for, remember that an apology has to mean something. Take time to consider how you may have harmed someone else, and when you apologize, do it thoughtfully and sincerely. When you recognize the severity of your mistakes, it's easier to avoid them.

 

9. Surround Yourself with Honest Friends

A great way to break the cycle of repeated mistakes is to have friends that aren't scared to tell you how it is. When you have loved ones that feel comfortable calling you out, it helps you avoid making the same mistakes repeatedly. They will tell you the things that you might not want to admit to yourself.

 

ACTIONABLE STEPS

 

a) Take 20-30 minutes to brainstorm a list of mistakes that you repeatedly make.

 

b) Identify 2-3 of these mistakes that you'd like to stop making. To begin, choose the ones you feel are easiest to address.

 

c) Write out an action plan to deal with each of the mistakes you just chose.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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1. You're About to Make a Terrible Mistake

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2. Past Present: How to Stop Making the Same Relationship Mistakes

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3. Why Can't I Get What I Want?: How to Stop Making the Same Old Mistakes

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4. Thinking, Fast and Slow

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5. Why We Make Mistakes

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TIPS REPORT 09: PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE

 

This report includes powerful tips related to putting things in perspective. It also includes 3 actionable steps you can take right away and a list of suggested reading for those people who are looking for even more information. ©

 This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

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We all deal with trials and tribulations in our lives. No matter how blessed we feel, situations will arise to challenge that. Often these problems consume us, and we feel like there is no way past them. If you have ever felt like this, then you might need a shift in perspective. The ability to recognize your problems and then properly put them in perspective is key to our happiness and productivity. Anyone can learn how to put things in perspective, and these nine tips are the perfect place to get started.

 

1. Think Beyond This Moment

When you are actively dealing with a problem, it will take up a lot of mental real estate. Things can seem bad at the moment. Try to take some time to think about the future. It can help you put things in perspective when you think about how much any of this will matter in ten years.

 

2. Stop and Consider

When dealing with some issues, your feelings can start forcing facts into the background. Take some time to consider what you are going through. Think about how the event will truly affect you. Consider how bad things are. Ask yourself if there are any positives to this situation.

 

3. Don't Treat Your Inner Monologue As Fact

You can't always trust that little voice in your head. Quite often, our inner dialogue tends to be overly negative. Just like you should question your negative self-talk, you should also question if that voice is blowing things out of proportion.

 

4. What Would Your Best Friend Say?

Whenever you are struggling to switch your perspective about something, ask yourself what your best friend would tell you. Most likely, they will have a positive spin on the situation that you have not have considered. At the very least, they will remind you that you can handle anything that comes your way.

 

5. Get Back to Nature

Sometimes all it takes to shift your perspective is a nice walk in a quiet park. Spending some time in nature is a great way to disconnect from the minutiae, and remember there is a huge world around you. Your problems often feel small when compared to the vastness of nature.

 

6. Spend Time Helping the Less Fortunate

Helping the less fortunate is a winning strategy all around:

● You are helping someone who needs it.

●You are going to give yourself a boost.

●It's a good reminder that your problems might seem very trivial to other people.

We can all use a reminder like that once in a while.

 

7. Spend Some Time with Children

Spending time around children is a wonderful way to switch your perspective. It reminds you of a simpler time when your cares melted away in the face of the next adventure. Their child-like innocence and carefree attitude have a way of rubbing off on you.

 

8. Stop Worrying About "Should"

If you require a seismic level change in perspective, forget about all the "shoulds" in the world. You don't need to worry about where you "should" be at a certain age. Don't burden yourself with society's idea of what you "should" have or "should" be doing. You will feel happier if you just focus on your timeline.

 

9. Focus on What You Can Control

If you are dealing with a difficult situation, sit back and figure out what you can and can't control. Once you do that, shift your perspective to taking action. You know what you can control, so all that is left is for you to take steps to address those issues.

 

ACTIONABLE STEPS

 

a) Figure out what in your life might need a little perspective. Think about events or circumstances in your life that you feel might seem worse than they are. Write one of them down.

 

b) Think about the issue you wrote down in the last step. Ask yourself if this will matter five days, five weeks, and five years from now?

 

c) Talk to a loved one about the issue you wrote down. Do they have a different perspective? Is there anything you can learn from them?

 

FURTHER READING

 

Affiliate links:

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2. The 7 Perspectives of Effective Leaders

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TIPS REPORT 08: THE LIES WE TELL OURSELVES

 This report includes powerful tips related to The Lies We Tell Ourselves. It also includes 3 actionable steps you can take right away and a list of suggested reading for those people who are looking for even more information. ©

 This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

I am sure most of us consider ourselves to be honest people. Outside of the odd white lie, we find it difficult to lie to our friends and loved ones. This makes it all the more confusing then that we find it so easy to lie to ourselves. You might have bristled at this thought, huffed, and thought, "I do no such thing!" The nine lies below are common lies we tell ourselves. Sometimes they are harmless, but often they hold us back from reaching our goals.

 

1. I'll Get to It Eventually

How many times have you told yourself this, then failed to "get to it"? If you are like most of us - plenty of times! It is much better to set a specific deadline for all of your tasks. Alternatively, you could just do it now as well.

 

2. I Can't Escape my Past

Many of us have skeletons in our closets, or if not, trauma that we never properly dealt with. The reality is you can get over your past. Your past doesn't define you. You might have to work a little harder or work on yourself, but you can get past your past.

 

3. There is Something Wrong With Me

Have you ever felt like such a failure that you assume there must be something wrong with you? This a powerful lie that can hold you back from even trying to accomplish your goals. Whether you are different, struggling, or even failing, that is circumstance. That isn't who you inherently are as a person.

 

4. I Know Exactly What I am Doing

Self-confidence is a powerful tool in your arsenal. Sometimes it even helps to fake confidence! That said, we need to be careful not to go overboard. There is nothing wrong with being honest that you need some help because you don't know what you are doing.

 

5. I Would be Happy If Only...

I know it's easy to focus on what you want or think you need for happiness, but it rarely works out that way. Even if you acquire what you think you need to be happy, you will just move the goalposts further and think about something else. You need to figure out how to be happier on your terms.

 

6. I am Too Busy to...

While this is true sometimes, and especially true for people who are working and raising a family, a lot of the time, it isn't. Downtime is important, but almost all of us waste time in some fashion. Take an honest appraisal of your day, and you will likely find some extra time to spare.

 

7. I Can Change Him/Her

I bet a couple of you are nodding in agreement about this one! Many of us have this moment where we meet someone we like, but they are toxic to be around. You think that with enough love and caring, you can change this person. We always find out that we can't. It isn't even our job to try and change someone else. That's on them.

 

8. I'm Too Old To...

I heard a 25-year-old the other day say they were too old to do something. I had never felt older. The reality is, we can still do almost anything we want as we age. It's never too late to go back to school or change career. It's not too late to take chances. It's never too late for you to try and live the life you dream about.

 

9. I'm a Failure

While all of us will deal with failure at one time, that does not make us failures. Failure is something we deal with; it isn't something we are. If you feel like a born loser that always fails, try to focus on your wins. We all have some wins in our lives, no matter how small they may seem. Also, failing is good - it is the best way to learn about yourself.

 

ACTIONABLE STEPS

 

a) Read over the list of lies we tell ourselves and figure out if you use any of them. Pay special attention to any lies you might use regularly.

 

b) Take a sheet of paper, and mark a line down the center from top to bottom. On the left-hand side, write down the lies you tell yourself. Feel free to add any other lies we may have missed as well.

 

c) On the right-hand side of the paper, counter each of those lies. Either write down reasons they aren't true or the steps you can take to ensure they aren't true.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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1. Lies We Tell Ourselves: The Psychology of Self-Deception

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2. The Lies We Tell Ourselves: Face the Truth, Accept Yourself

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3. Vital Lies, Simple Truths: The Psychology of Self-Deception

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4. The Lies We Tell Ourselves: Vulnerability as a Tool

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5. I'm Special: And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves

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TIPS REPORT 07: HOW TO LIGHTEN UP

 

This report includes powerful tips related to lightening up. It also includes 3 actionable steps you can take right away and a list of suggested reading for those people who are looking for even more information. ©

 This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list. 

TOP TIPS

If there has ever been a time that we all need to lighten up a bit - it might be now! Listen, I understand that life is a little crazy. Things aren't going swimmingly for a lot of us. It's easy to get down on ourselves. The thing is, if we aren't careful, we could lose the spark of happiness we do have. That's why it is important to lighten up a bit. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves while wallowing in negativity. Let's all take a deep breath, exhale and try to lighten up a bit. We can start with these nine tips:

 

1. Embrace the Concept of "Perfect Enough"

It feels great when something we are working on comes out just perfect, but it isn't the end of the world if it is just acceptable. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in making sure every detail is perfect, we don't take the time to enjoy the journey. You should take the time to appreciate the journey even if everything isn't perfect.

 

2. Avoid Toxic People

Certain people in our lives bring us down. We can't always avoid these people, but why wouldn't we limit our exposure to them? It's going to be very hard to lighten up if you spend a lot of time with people who sap your joy.

 

3. Find Healthy Ways to Release Tension

One of the best ways to lighten up is to release some of your built-up tension. Maybe you could get a massage. If that isn't your style, maybe you could blow off some steam working out. The choice is ultimately yours; make sure you engage in tension-relieving activities regularly.

 

4. Look at the Funny Side

Sometimes even the stressful events in our lives have a funny side. Learning to find this humorous side is a great way to lighten up. When you can laugh at yourself, you will find it easier to laugh in general.

 

5. Spend More Time Outdoors

A nice leisurely walk on a warm sunny day is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. No matter what's weighing on your mind, this time outdoors and in nature has a way of naturally lifting our mood and letting us lighten up a bit.

 

6. Act Like a Kid Again

Have you ever watched a kid playing and felt a pang of jealousy that they find so much joy in such simple activities? Why not join them? Act a little silly now and then. Don't be afraid to get dirty. Laugh at something stupid. You'll find taking yourself less seriously is one of the best ways to lighten up.

 

7. Spend Time with Fun People

We already know we shouldn't be spending a lot of time with toxic people. The inverse is true as well. We should try to spend more time with our fun friends. The friends that lift you and keep you smiling. It is easy to lighten up when you are having fun.

 

8. Help Someone in Need

This might seem like a weird suggestion, but hear me out. Helping someone in need will boost your mood in general. It is also a helpful reminder that everyone has problems, and maybe yours aren't that major in the grand scheme of things.

 

9. Stay in the Present

A major reason people can't lighten up is that they are reliving a bad memory or catastrophizing about some upcoming event. Strive to stay in the moment more often. Appreciate the here and now. If you get too caught up living in the past/future, you'll never lighten up.

 

ACTIONABLE STEPS

 

a) Who Stresses You Out? Is there anyone in your life that makes it impossible for you to lighten up around? Take some time to figure out how (or if) you can limit your time with them.

 

b) Spoil Yourself. Hey, life is tough, so take some time to pamper yourself. Whether it's a comforting meal, a night out, or a massage, put yourself first for once.

 

c) Reach out to a Fun Friend. If you have one of those friends that makes you laugh just by the way they answer the phone - reach out to them. Some time together will brighten both of your moods.

 

FURTHER READING

 

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5. Lighten Up: Survival Skills for People Under Pressure

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TIPS REPORT 06: PRIORITIZE YOUR TASKS

 This report includes powerful tips related to prioritizing your tasks. It also includes 3 actionable steps you can take right away and a list of suggested reading for those people who are looking for even more information. ©

 This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list. 

TOP TIPS

The adage says, "We all have the same 24 hours a day". Yes, it's a cliche, and it likely more annoying than helpful - but it is true. We can't create more time out of thin air, but we can use it more effectively. That is why prioritizing your tasks is so important. Knowing what you should be working on and when you should be doing it will only increase your productivity. If you want to learn more about prioritizing your tasks, read these nine tips:

 

1. What is Worth Prioritizing?

First off, you need to figure out what is truly important to you. The tasks you prioritize should reflect your core values. If you are laser-focused on your career, then career tasks are naturally more important. If you are family-first, then you may rank those tasks higher in priority.

 

2. Make a List

A great way to start prioritizing is making a list of everything you want to accomplish. You can focus on the short-term, long-term, or even better - both. Don't worry about editing as you go; focus on thinking of as many goals/tasks/todos as you can.

 

3. Rank Your Priorities List by Urgency

Take the list of priorities you create and rank the tasks by urgency. This usually means ranking the tasks when they are due, but don't forget your core values. A typical way of breaking these lists up is three categories: Urgent (complete ASAP), Important (need to address soon, Leisure (can focus on these in your free time).

 

4. Break Your Large Tasks into Smaller Pieces

You should strive to break your large tasks down. This makes the task more manageable and lets you have more control over the moving parts. Some smaller parts of your large task might need to be completed earlier than others. It is easier to prioritize when you know this.

 

5. Delegate What You Can

Why waste time prioritizing the tasks you don't even need to do. Figure out if any of your tasks can be delegated or outsourced. This will save you time and energy. You can focus on the more important priorities while the smaller details are handled by someone else.

 

6. Set Deadlines for Each Task

Set some deadlines for each of your tasks. Simply setting a deadline has been shown to help people follow through. Try to set your deadlines a little earlier than you need. This will help you stay ahead of things and gives you a buffer if you can't deliver.

 

7. Look For Opportunities for Growth

An interesting, if a somewhat esoteric tip is to focus on tasks that grant you growth opportunities. We must continue to broaden our horizons and skillset, so focusing on tasks that help you do this makes sense. If all else is equal, but one task allows you to learn something new, or update your current skills, choose that one.

 

8. Start With Your Most Important Task

Another classic tip that you might have heard referred to as "eat the frog." The idea here is that you start with your most important task, that way you know you at least finished that. Some people choose their most hated task as well. The same idea applies, though; it's all about getting it over with ASAP.

 

9. ...or Don't

Contrary to the last tip, sometimes you are so unmotivated that you don't have the energy to tackle anything important. If that feels like you, then start with the absolute easiest, no-brainer task you can. Sometimes doing that is enough to build your momentum so you can tackle the high-priority stuff.

 

ACTIONABLE STEPS

 

a) Make A List of This Weeks Tasks - Think about your current week. What would you like to accomplish? List everything you can think of. Try to keep it reasonable, but don't be afraid to stretch yourself a bit.

 

b) Arrange the List by Importance - Now break that list down into three categories: Urgent (do ASAP), Important (do this week), and Leisure (whenever you get around to it).

 

c) Set Deadlines For Each Task - Now set a deadline for each task. Be specific; choose a day and time. Try to make your deadlines a bit earlier than needed, so you have some buffer room.

 

FURTHER READING

 

Affiliate links:

1. Manage Your Time, Manage Your Life

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2. Prioritization: How to Prioritize Tasks to Increase Productivity

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3. Time's Up: Prioritize Yourself Now

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4. Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day

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5. 18 Minutes: Find Your Focus and Get the Right Things Done

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