TIPS REPORT 42: BEHAVIORS BLOCKING YOUR SUCCESS

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

Success means many different things to many different people. You ask ten people what their definition of success is, and you might get ten different answers. The common denominator is that most of us are striving to achieve it. No matter what the definition, success is something we all crave. Craving success is one thing, achieving it is another. The number one obstacle in our path to success is ...us! If you exhibit any of the nine behaviours below, you might be blocking your path to success without even knowing it.

 

1. Making Excuses

Making excuses is one of many ways we can self-sabotage. If you are constantly making excuses about why you can't do something, why you failed or blaming other people for your lack of success, it is time to take a long look inward.

 

2. Doing It All Yourself

Are you the type of person that needs to control every single detail? If so, you might be blocking your road to success. While self-reliance is typically a good thing, trying to do everything yourself is likely going to stall your success. Let go, delegate the minutiae and focus your efforts on high-impact actions.

 

3. Giving Up Too Easily

Life is essentially how we spend our time between obstacles. No matter who you are, you are going to have to deal with setbacks, failures and other obstacles. How you respond to these obstacles will define your success (or lack thereof). If you just give up in the face of difficulty, you will never achieve your goals.

 

4. Fear Dictates Your Decisions

Fear is an important evolutionary emotion that keep us safe. Don't be ashamed to feel it. However, you can't let it dictate all of your decisions. Success requires bold thinking and action. There will be times that you must ignore your fear and step out of your comfort zone.

 

5. Too Much Multitasking

Multitasking was all the rage about a decade ago. It sounds great, you get to accomplish more things all at once! The reality is, you aren't accomplishing more, you are just spreading your focus and energy thin. Would you rather do 5 things poorly, or accomplish one thing perfectly? That is often the trade-off you make when multitasking.

 

6. People Pleasing

Being able to get along with other people is a wonderful trait that will get you far. However, there is a difference between being personable and being a pushover. You need to make sure that you balance your affability with a backbone. To start - practice saying "no" more often.

 

7. Hitting the Self-Destruct Button

Sometimes self-sabotage can do more than stall your success. Sometimes it can be downright dangerous. Leaning on self-destructive habits to get through your day is not healthy. If you are relying on drugs, alcohol or any other serious bad habit, you need to talk to a professional. It isn't just your success at stake.

 

8. You Yo-Yo

Sometimes you care, and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you try, and sometimes you don't. You are excited about your goals this week, but won't even think about them next. If any of that seems familiar, you might be "yo-yoing". Success requires consistency. If you want to succeed, you can't be all in one moment, then not care the next.

 

9. Beating Yourself Up

Did you read through this list and then berate yourself for any behaviors you exhibit? This needs to stop. Everyone has issues and everyone makes mistakes. You can't beat yourself up for this. If you fail at something, try not get lost in thoughts of "I failed, I'm no good". Instead, ask yourself what you learned from that failure and move on. Treat yourself as kindly as you'd treat your best friend.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Are you making any excuses? Think honestly about your life. Are you making any excuses for your lack of success?

 

b) How can you face it? Once you have identified an excuse you are making, create a plan so that you can address it.

 

c) Take one micro-step towards your goal. Now that you have a plan, take a simple step towards achieving it. This step should be something so simple you can do it right away.

 

FURTHER READING

 

Affiliate links:

1. The Success Principles(TM)

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2. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

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3. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

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4. Framing Success

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5. 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

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TIPS REPORT 41: GETTING THROUGH TOUGH TIMES

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information.

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

One inevitable truth about life is that there will be tough times. No matter how blessed your life is, you will have to deal with some hardship. There will be times when you feel like everything is crashing down around you, and your only choice is to keep moving forward. What if the times are so tough, you are struggling to trudge on, though? In that case, keep these nine tips in mind.

 

1. Pain Is a Part of Life

The first step is to accept that pain is part of life. It might not be easy to hear, but it is the truth. The silver lining is that pain helps us grow and evolve. It's our response to pain that builds our character.

 

2. Acknowledge Your Feelings and Emotions

Go ahead and "feel your feels." There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that you are upset. Cry if you need to. Get angry if you want. Scream at the world. It would be best if you didn't cast your feelings and emotions away.

 

3. Self-Care Isn't a Luxury

When dealing with a tough situation in life, it can be easy to give up self-care. This is one of the worst things you can do. If you can bring yourself to do anything, then taking care of your physical and mental needs is the priority.

 

4. Try Not to Disappear

When you struggle to deal with everything life throws at you, it's easy to withdraw into your bubble. There is nothing wrong with seeking a bit of solitude, but don't disappear into it. Take the time you need for yourself, but don't forget you have people in your life who love and support you.

 

5. Keep Your Passions Close

If you are struggling through something serious, the last things you are thinking about are your hobbies or passions. However, focusing on your passions is one of the best ways to weather tough times.

 

6. Take Action to Take Back Control

When life hits you full-on in the face with obstacles, it can feel like you have no control. You are simply along for the turbulent ride. To combat this feeling, try to take action. Instead of just letting life happen, take back control. A small, simple step is all you need to get started.

 

7. Look For the Lesson

Sometimes the only thing we take from tough times are the bruises. It's important to look for a lesson, though. What have your struggles taught you about the world, yourself, or the people you love?

 

8. Remember What You Have

No matter how bad things seem to be, you likely have some positives in your life. Use these positives as your life preserver. Keep the things or people that you love close to your heart.

 

9. Ask For Support

If you feel overwhelmed by life, reach out and ask for help. You can start with a trusted loved one, but reach out to a professional if you don't feel comfortable with that. They are there to help.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Define your struggle. If you are dealing with tough times, take a second to define exactly what that means. Acknowledge the feelings you are dealing with.

 

b) Practice gratitude. Make a list of ten things that you cherish. Focus on people, places, or things.

 

c) Take action. It might be hard, but taking a step - no matter how small - towards addressing your struggles can give you a renewed sense of hope.

 

FURTHER READING

 

Affiliate links:

1. How to Feel Better: A Hands-On Companion for Getting Through Tough Times

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2. Everything I Would Have Said: Survival Strategies for Getting Through Tough Times

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3. Reboot: Getting Through the Tough Times

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4. Journey Beyond Hardship: A Practical, Hopeful Guide for Getting Through Tough Times

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5. Colors of Loss and Healing: An Adult Coloring Book for Getting Through Tough Times

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TIPS REPORT 40: WHEN IS IT TIME TO QUIT?

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

Quite often, we view quitting in a negative light. How many times have you heard something like "Winners never quit" or "quitters never win." The thing is, quitting isn't always wrong. Sometimes quitting is the first step to us finding a new and better path. You quit your old job so that you can get a new and better job. You quit a sport, so you can focus all your energy on the one you truly love. Below you will find nine signs that it might be time to quit and move on.

 

1. Your Task Takes Your Entire Life Over

If there is any task or goal that has become so all-consuming it takes over all other areas of your life, then you might consider moving on from it. If you are devoting massive amounts of your energy, and the rest of your results are suffering, is it worth continuing?

 

2. There is an Obviously Better Opportunity

Some people are naturally very loyal. Whether it is a job, your own business, or just a goal you have been working on, it can be hard to give it up. However, if there is an obviously better opportunity around the corner, why not take it? You aren't giving up if you quit your job to take on a better role. You are leveling up.

 

3. You Feel Stuck or Stagnant

Do you feel like you are stuck in life? Maybe your career or certain goals seem to have stagnated. If so, this could be a cue that it is time to quit. Life moves fast, and if all you are doing is standing still, you could get left behind. Sometimes quitting a job or goal that keeps you stuck allows you to move forward in the long run.

 

4. You Don't Respect What You Are Doing

Not all of us are blessed to be doing work that fills us with joy and fulfillment. Sometimes we have to deal with that until we find something better. However, if you are doing something that you don't even respect, and it fills you with remorse or shame - how long can you wait before you quit?

 

5. You Are Being Undervalued

We live in a cutthroat world, and sometimes the people in our lives, be it our employers or relationships, don't value us. If you feel like a company or your romantic partner doesn't value you as much as you deserve, consider this a sign it might be time to move on.

 

6. You Are Never Happy

Do you find that you are miserable more than you are not? If so, there is likely something in your life you need to quit. It could be an unfulfilling goal, career, or relationship. Once you figure out what it is, you will likely feel instantly better once you give it up.

 

7. When All You Have Left is Your Pride

Have you ever had a goal or task you've been working on for so long that it didn't even benefit you anymore? If you are working on something that doesn't benefit you at all just because you are too prideful to quit, it is a clear sign you should at least consider it.

 

8. You Are Self-Destructive

Do you have a self-destructive side? Have you found yourself engaging in more damaging habits and behaviors? If so, there may be something in your life that isn't working. You should strive to figure out what it is. Once you do, don't be afraid to quit it and move on to something else.

 

9. Your Goal Doesn't Align With Your Values

If your goals, career, or business don't align with your values, you should consider giving it up. You can fool yourself for a little while (even a long while), but your actions not matching your values will catch up with you. Your results will suffer, and you will never feel fulfilled. If your goals don't match your values, consider dropping them and setting a new version that aligns with who you are.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Assess your current goals. Do your current goals still match your values? Are they still propelling you forward?

 

b) Assess your career. Are you happy and fulfilled? Do you have room for advancement? Do you have any other opportunities available?

 

c) Assess your relationships. Are you getting everything you need from people in your life? Is anyone holding you back or draining your energy?

 

FURTHER READING

 

Affiliate links:

1. 99 Reasons Why I Should Quit: Lined Journal, Planner and Notebook

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2. Time To Quit?

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3. Designing Your Life

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TIPS REPORT 39: STOP WASTING YOUR TIME

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

Time is the great equalizer. No matter who you are, you have 24 hours to use each day. For many of us, though, these hours are mostly already spoken for. Between sleep, family duties, work, and - if we are lucky - a little socializing, there isn't much time left. It's important that any time we do use is used well. Here are nine tips that can help you avoid wasting your time.

 

1. Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No

Do you ever find that you take on more than you can handle? Try saying no a little more often. While it's important to be a good friend or a team player, you don't have to take on every task someone asks of you. If you take the time to do someone else's work, you lose that time somewhere else in your life.

 

2. Focus on One Major Task Each Day

We aren't suggesting that you only do one thing per day, but it can help to have a guiding light goal. Think about one thing or theme to focus on that day. When you are in-between tasks, you won't find yourself wasting time wondering what to do next. You'll always have this guiding light goal to come back to.

 

3. You Don't Have to Respond Right Away

Whether it is a text, a phone call, or an email, you don't have to respond right away. If you are waiting on something specific and time-sensitive, that is one thing. However, a cold call, random email, or social media notification can usually wait. Choose a time (or a few) to check your messages all at once each day.

 

4. Figure Out Your Time-Wasting Triggers

Do you have any triggers that almost always lead to you wasting time? Maybe going to get a coffee leads to a 35-minute chat about nothing. Do you fall down Youtube holes after watching a single video? Most of us have little triggers like these, and it's important to know them so you can avoid them when time is tight.

 

5. Make Time for Self-Care

Doing things that are important for your mental and physical health is not a waste of time. It might seem weird we would suggest taking time for yourself to save time. Think about it, though, if you get sick, exhausted, or burnt-out, you will have to spend a lot of time to get back on track. Making time for self-care means that you can use your time more effectively in the long term.

 

6. Get Organized

How much time do you waste looking for something you misplaced? How about digging in the back of a cupboard looking for something you are "sure is there"? Getting organized so that everything you need has a logical space is one of the best ways to stop wasting time needlessly.

 

7. Stop Doom-Scrolling

I understand that we live in some trying times. Even worse, we are constantly connected to streams of news. It is easy to scroll Twitter, Tiktok, or your local news sites consuming constant updates on what is wrong today. Would you please break this habit? Not only does it waste time, but the negative energy also impacts the rest of your day.

 

8. Other People's Problems Aren't Always Yours

You can make a deliberate choice to refuse to be dragged into office gossip or friend drama. You should support those you love, but you don't have to get involved in everyone's problems. Why waste time (not to mention energy) worrying about the squabbles other people are involved in.

 

9. Build Your Self-Confidence

This might seem like an odd tip for "time management," but it might be the single most powerful step you can take to stop wasting time. Confident people make quicker decisions, take more decisive action, and don't need to wait until every detail is perfected. Think about how much time you would save in your life if you could say the same about yourself.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) What is your most important goal for tomorrow? Write down what your main focus will be tomorrow (or today if it is early enough).

 

b) Organize one aspect of your life right now. It can be as simple as your desk drawer, optimizing your email folders, or even just your computer's desktop.

 

c) What are your time-wasting triggers? Next time you find yourself wasting time, think back and reflect on what may have triggered it.

 

FURTHER READING

 

Affiliate links:

1. The Joy of Getting It Done

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2. Stop Wasting Time

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3. Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity

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4. Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

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5. Stop Wasting Your Time and Start Doing What Matters Most

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TIPS REPORT 38: LIMITED THINKING PATTERNS

 This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

Many people believe that positive thinking and manifestation are important tools that propel us towards our goals, but what about the opposite? Limited thinking can be as much of a burden as positive thinking is a boon. It is one of several ways that we self-sabotage our success. If you aren't sure what limited thinking is, here are nine examples. If you engage in these thinking patterns, you must address them, or your success might suffer.

 

1. All or Nothing

This limited thinking pattern hinders your ability to see nuance. You are either a massive success, or you are a lowly failure. Routinely thinking like this holds us back by not allowing us to see progress or growth. It doesn't allow us to find a "middle ground."

 

2. Focus on The Negative

Negative thinking is one of the most discussed topics in the self-help world. We all know the negative impact this type of thinking can have on our life. If you are the type of person whose mind filters all information through a negative lens, you won't be as happy or successful as you deserve.

 

3. Overgeneralization

This thinking pattern is best described as taking a single incident and drawing broad conclusions about it. For example, you fail at something so then decide it is worthless, you are lousy, and you'll never figure it out. Besides being overly negative, this thinking process isn't logical. Try to stop thinking in absolutes.

 

4. Mind Reading

It is impossible to read someone's mind. Even if you are highly intuitive, you can't know for sure what someone is thinking. If you are the type of person that makes quick assumptions about others or thinks you know the "real reason" they acted in a certain way, then you might be suffering from this thinking pattern.

 

5. Fixed Mindset

A fixed mindset is an idea that things are how they are, and there is no reason to change. You trust your abilities (which is great), but you never see a reason to grow or change. If you aren't growing and changing as a person, you are standing still, letting the world pass you by.

 

6. Stuck on How

This type of limited thinking is when you get too wrapped up in the idea of "how." For example, how will you ever reach your goals? While having a plan is important, sometimes we can't possibly know all the details of accomplishing something. You can't allow this to stop you from taking action, though.

 

7. Catastrophizing

Are you the type of person to assume the absolute worst of any situation? Does a small obstacle in your path make you think the sky is falling? If so, you are likely suffering from catastrophizing. This limited thinking pattern makes us always expect the worst. If you don't deal with it, you will be too paralyzed by fear and indecision to grow truly.

 

8. A Case of The “Shoulds”

If you ever get caught up worrying about the way things "should" be instead of how they are, you might be dealing with this limited thinking pattern. You expect the universe and other people to act according to your preconceived standards and cannot adapt when they don't.

 

9 Personalization

Not everything is about you. Did you need to hear that? If so, you might be suffering from personalization. This limited thinking pattern means you take everything personally. Not everything that happens to you is a personal slight or shortcoming. Sometimes things simply don't work out, and it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) Go through the list of limited thinking patterns. Put a quick checkmark beside any that you think you might have.

 

b) Now go through the list of the check-marked thinking patterns and prioritize them by how much you think they affect you. Start with number one being the most and work your way down.

 

c) Try to break your limited thinking patterns one at a time. Starting at the top of your list ensures you tackle the most important promptly.

 

FURTHER READING

 

Affiliate links:

1. Beyond Positive Thinking

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2. You Are Beyond Belief: Breaking Free from Limited Thinking

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3. Limited Thinking: The 13 Most Common Excuses

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4. Stop Thinking, Start Living

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5. The Art of Thinking Clearly

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Meeting former students.

As a teacher, there is nothing more rewarding than seeing your former students succeed and achieve great things in life. It brings a deep sense of satisfaction and joy to know that the efforts put into their education have paid off and contributed to their growth and success. It is a great feeling to meet old students and see how well they are doing, and to know that you played a small part in their journey towards success.

YouTube Recording

 Today was one such day when I had the opportunity to catch up with some of my former students from last year. We had lunch together, and it was great to see how much they had grown and matured since we last met. We reminisced about the old days, talked about their current endeavors, and shared stories about life after school.

During the course of the conversation, I was thrilled to hear that they had all done well in their studies and were now pursuing their dreams with great enthusiasm and passion. It was clear that they had taken the lessons learned in my classes and applied them to their lives, and it filled me with pride and joy.

Later that evening, I had the pleasure of meeting another former student who shared how much she had learned from my classes. She talked about how my teachings had helped her develop new skills, broaden her perspective, and become more confident in her abilities. Hearing such feedback from a former student was truly humbling and reminded me of the importance of the work that we do as educators.

Overall, it was a fantastic day that left me feeling fulfilled and energized. As a teacher, there is no greater reward than seeing your former students grow and succeed, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a small part of their journey. I look forward to staying in touch with them and continuing to support their growth and success in any way that I can.

TIPS REPORT 37: BECOME MORE ADAPTABLE

This report includes nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take right away. It also includes a list of suggested readings for those who are looking for even more information. 

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

TOP TIPS

It might be an understatement to say, but we are living in some uncertain times. To be fair, though, there has never been a time when people could be certain exactly how their lives would play out. That's life. We can't possibly plan for every outcome, so we must adapt when we are faced with new realities. Do you feel like you are adaptable? Could you switch your approach to life if needed? If this makes you nervous to even think about, check out these nine tips that will help you become more adaptable.

 

1. Have a Guiding Light

Life is going to throw all kinds of surprising situations and obstacles in your path. If you have a guiding light or a purpose, you will find it easier to adapt and get back on track. Even if your short-term goals and plans are ruined, you will know your general direction and adjust accordingly.

 

2. Get out of Your Comfort Zone

If you keep on doing the same things over and over again, you are not going to be prepared when you are forced to adapt. If you want to become more adaptable, you have to get used to living outside your comfort zone. This way, you will be more comfortable when forced to make a change.

 

3. Practice With Low-Stake Activities

Adaptability is like any skill. You can hone and strengthen it through repeated use. If you aren't good at rolling with the punches, try starting small. Something as simple as changing your work route could help you become more adaptable in the long run.

 

4. Commit to Learning

There is no reason to stop learning just because you are done with school. A hallmark of adaptability is having a wide spectrum of knowledge. You will find it much easier to adjust your approach if you have the skills and knowledge you need.

 

5. Stay On Top of Current Events

While watching the news every night can be hard, you should strive to stay on top of current events and trends. Spotting an emerging trend that might affect you will help you prepare for any adjustments you have to make.

 

6. Treat Mistakes and Failures as Lessons

Life is going to be full of mistakes and failures. This is especially true if you are regularly forced to adapt to changing circumstances. Even the best-laid plans can be affected by forces out of our control. The key is to get used to failure and use it as an opportunity to learn something new.

 

7. Say "Yes" More Often

People are often told they should "no" more often. The idea is it will give you back your time and set healthy boundaries. This is all true! However, some of us may need to say "yes" more often. By accepting new and different challenges, you will be training your adaptability.

 

8. Let Go of Attachment

The idea of attachment is a key tenet of Buddhism. Our inability to detach from our ideas of how things should be is what holds us back from a fulfilled life. This is good advice for those who struggle with adaptability. When you let go of your idea of how things need to be, you make it easier to adjust when things go wrong.

 

9. Build Your Mental Toughness

Change, upheaval, and unexpected obstacles aren't easy. They are going to test you, and they might even break some of us. You should find ways to build your mental toughness so that you can face new challenges head-on. It won't happen overnight, but you can boost your mental toughness. If you want to adapt to a rapidly changing world, you might have to.

 

FAST-ACTION STEPS

 

a) What is your guiding light? Think about where you ultimately want to end up in life.

 

b) Learn something new. It's time to brush up on an old skill or learn an entirely new one.

 

c) What are some emerging trends in your industry? How will you adapt to these?

 

FURTHER READING

 

Affiliate links:

1. Adaptability: Responding Effectively to Change

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2. Adaptable: How to Lead with Curiosity, Pivot with Purpose, and Thrive through Change

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3. The Adaptable Mind

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4. Competing in the New World of Work

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