Love, Marriage, and the Art of Not Being Naive.

Love, Marriage, and the Art of Not Being Naive: A Father’s Guide to Young Hearts.

My vacation is about to finish, classes will start in 2 weeks, but even on vacation time I still manage to spend time with a few students who stay behind at university to keep studying to increase their chances of passing a difficult exam that will permit to advance their degrees. In that setting I sometimes have deeper conversations with them about life, and last week I have profound discussion with a student about love. Here in this post I will share the advice I have given to her, and let me say, it is the same advice I give to my 2 growth up boys.

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not here to rain on anyone’s romantic parade. I’m here as a father, a man who’s been through the highs and heartbreaks of marriage, and someone who still believes—despite the rising divorce rates and the modern chaos of dating apps—that love and marriage are worth pursuing.

But let’s not be naïve about it.

1996 Jan 03

From Dad to Sons: A Love Letter with a Warning Label

I’ve got two boys, 21 and 19. They’re smart, kind, and just starting to dip their toes into the dating pool. And like any dad who’s lived a little, I watch them with a mix of pride and mild panic. Because while they’re eager to find love and build a life, I know how easy it is to fall for someone who’s not right—and how hard it is to climb out of that hole once you’re in it.

I’ve been divorced. And here’s the thing: my ex-wife was a good woman. We shared values, built a family, and tried to do things right. But the world today doesn’t just sell products—it sells dreams. It whispers constantly that there’s a better life out there, a better partner, a better version of happiness. And even good people, committed people, can start to wonder: Am I missing out?

That’s the danger of the “fear of missing out” culture. It doesn’t strike overnight. It creeps in slowly—five, ten, even fifteen years into a marriage. And sometimes, it convinces someone to walk away from something real in pursuit of something imagined. That’s what I believed what happened to me. And when the dust settled, I lost everything.

That’s why I worry so much for my sons. Not because they don’t want to get married—they do. But because they’re young, and the world is loud. And if they don’t learn to vet a partner wisely, to build a relationship on solid ground, their chances of end up facing the same heartbreak I did, will be much greater.

💼 The Career-First Culture: Why Marriage Is on Pause

Here in China, I see a growing trend: many young women are choosing careers over marriage. And while I don’t agree with that choice personally, I understand it. Marriage is expensive. Raising kids is even more expensive. And let’s be honest—finding a loyal, caring, emotionally intelligent partner feels like trying to win the lottery with a scratch card.

So yes, I get it. But I also believe that deep down, we’re wired for connection. We’re not meant to go through life alone, scrolling through highlight reels and pretending we’re fine. Real joy comes from building something lasting with someone who’s in it for the long haul.

♂️ Vetting a Partner: The Lost Art of Asking the Right Questions.

Here’s where I get serious. My biggest fear isn’t that my boys won’t get married—it’s that they’ll marry someone who’s not right for them. Someone who doesn’t share their values, who’s not emotionally mature, or who’s just not ready for the commitment that marriage demands.

So, here’s my advice, from one battle-tested heart to two young ones (this can apply to boys and girls alike):

• Don’t confuse chemistry with compatibility. Butterflies are great, but they don’t pay bills or raise kids.

• Look for character, not charisma. The loudest laugh in the room isn’t always the most loyal.

• Ask hard questions early. What are her values? How does she handle conflict? What does she want in five years? 10 years? 15 years? (my marriage lasted 17 years)

• Watch how she treats others. Especially people she doesn’t need to impress—waiters, parents, strangers.

• Don’t rush. Love isn’t a race. It’s a marathon with potholes, detours, and the occasional emotional sprain.

💔 Divorce Isn’t the End—But It’s Not a Goal Either.

I know firsthand that divorce can happen even when you do everything “right.” But that doesn’t mean we stop trying. It means we try smarter. We build relationships on solid ground, not just good vibes. We choose partners who challenge us, support us, and grow with us—not just ones who look good in selfies.

And most importantly, we stay humble. Because love isn’t just about finding the right person—it’s about being the right person, too.

❤️ Why Marriage Still Matters

Despite everything—despite the rising costs, the shifting norms, the fear of heartbreak—I still believe in marriage. Not because it’s easy, but because it’s meaningful. Because sharing your life with someone, building a family, weathering storms together—that’s the stuff that makes life rich.

We’re not meant to be alone. We’re meant to connect, to love, to grow. And yes, sometimes to fail. But if we approach love with wisdom, courage, and a little bit of humor, we stand a much better chance of succeeding.

So to my sons, and to every young person reading this: don’t be naïve. Be brave. Be thoughtful. And above all, be real.

Because love is worth it.

Since I am sharing my opinion that love is worth it, I have to share also that my students keep asking me if I am open to marry again, the answer is a resounding YES, but usually I don´t have the time to explain what I am looking for, so here it would be what I would share in my dating profile if had one:

I am a MAN, and that means I have all the characters of a man. Ha! ha! – I like to compete, I like to be strong and conquer, to defeat challenges and to be the protector of my family. I believe MAN should take action – that is why is probably why it is me sending you a message and not the other way around. Also I fell very attracted to beautiful girls who are feminine and do girly (and silly) things, they don’t try to take our places and enjoy the company of man who can protect her… As a man, even as imperfect one (soulmate does NOT exist, no one is perfect – haha sorry to crush your illusions !) I did give everything to my woman, I loved her, gave her 2 beautiful boys, we had house together that we were trying to turn into a home (sweet home) but one day out of the blue she decides to throw that up, SHE BURNED ME PRETTY BAD. She was the one who decide for a divorce, and I was the one who looses everything, I lost her (my wife),I lost my boys, I lost my home, I lost all my hopes in humanity – She is now married to man she kissed when she was married to me (and I did forgave her)

Now that everything was in the past (+-10 years ago),I looked back and feel like an IDIOT. Perhaps it is harder for me trust again like it once was…. So be patience with me.

I rebuilt my life. I travel the world again, at this time in Asia (before it was in USA and Canada) I am in China now,…

In general is the nature of a man is to seek for beauty and pleasure, and the nature of a woman is to seek stability and security (that is in general, ok ?? – I am not denying the statistics here),So, I don’t blame you for checking for those things before marrying me. On the other hand please don’t blame me for seeking a cute girl – and yes if I am with you it means I did find you CUTE. Otherwise I would never ask you out.

But I would never move things to the next level if I don’t see high standard qualities in you (the same is valid for me). For example: I am saving physical Intimacy for marriage, so, I am looking for a girl who is doing the same, THAT IS FAIR – RIGHT ?? Also I don’t have tattoos in my body, never smoke or drink (alcohol, beer, …) in my life (and more things like that…)

By the time we would be marry, perhaps a few years together you can be sure I do love you, I would be crazy for you, there will be no reason for you to be jealous (so please don’t act jealous – that is just a lack of trust and it will destroy the relationship – by the way if you cannot trust me, please don’t marry me).

Gradually maturity will take place, but you have nothing to worry about, we probably started dating because I was attracted by your beauty, but now I love you completely. The same goes for you, probably you would not have all our dream fulfill or I am not the richest guy in the world, BUT we love each other, and you would never leave me as neither I will.

Certainly there are things money simply can NOT buy, and when we die, for sure will not take it with us, but perhaps we can preserve our family bonds as we found in Mathew 16:19 “…and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven.” - this is priceless, and I need a girl who can qualify for that.

Now you know my secret…, that is WHY I want a special girl - who can qualify for such a blessing (to be bound with me in heaven – that is not a joke. Ha ha ha !!),that is why also I am doing my best to keep all the Lords commandments, to qualify as well.

This video will explain why this is not a joke:
Two Apostles Lead a Virtual Tour of the Rome Italy Temple

click the picture above or here to watch the video

You can also see this nice video, I agree with him completely:

To watch: click the pic above or watch another good video here (QA)

If I don’t find this person, I see no need to marry again…( Ha ha ha !). My life as a single person is very good, I am just considering it can be much better with the RIGHT person, I hope you answer me when I message you…
If nothing less, we can still be good friends

I am trying to have a online business, so I could live anywhere in the world - "https://mgameirollc.uteach.io"

The END of dating profile

So, what you just read above was my dazzling debut on the world stage of online dating—aka my website profile. And yes, I laid out my values like a buffet at a five-star hotel. Why? Because those values are my compass when it comes to choosing a partner. For instance, I don’t smoke or drink alcohol, so it’s safe to say I won’t be walking down the aisle with someone puffing a cigarette in one hand and a cocktail in the other.

Now, every so often, I find myself chatting with someone intriguing. She seems lovely, sparks fly, and I start thinking, “Hmm… could she be the one?” That’s when I whip out my metaphorical magnifying glass and begin the vetting process—those all-important questions I mentioned at the beginning of this article.

I will explain why this matters so much to me below, but before that let me insert a fun story that happens - I need to rewind the tape a bit. Picture this: it’s a few years after my divorce, and I’m already plotting my grand adventure to Asia (but I wasn´t in China yet). One day, I jokingly told my kids—who were living with their mom at the time—that I was also cooking up a little “revenge plan.” Nothing sinister, of course! Just a playful scheme where the tables would turn one day. And yes, I even illustrated this master plan in the picture below. Strategic brilliance or dad-level mischief? You decide.

Now almost 7 years latter, I am here in China, dnd believe it or not, that wild little plan of mine almost had a chance to came to life! The person named YuanYuan in the picture above? Yep—she was real (I meet her online a few days ago). We were chatting, things were looking promising, and I thought, “This might actually happen!” But then came the vetting process… and sadly, she didn’t make the cut. Cue dramatic music and a slow zoom-out. 😢

But hey—no hard feelings, and definitely no giving up. I’m still on the quest!

Now, let’s get serious for a second. Marriage isn’t just a romantic Instagram reel—it’s a life-altering decision. You don’t want to mess this one up. It shapes your future more than almost anything else. So here’s my golden advice: marrying the right person is way better than staying single. But staying single? That’s still miles better than marrying the wrong one. The magic lies in the vetting process. Find someone who truly shares your values—not just your playlist or your favorite pizza topping.

And speaking of values, let me tell you what happened with YuanYuan. (Spoiler: one of my core beliefs is saving sex for marriage.) Buckle up—this part gets real.