Phases of a FINAL EXAM

🎬 Phases of a FINAL EXAM – The Movie You’re All In! 🎬

🎞️ Scene 01: The Attendance List & The Mysterious Camera

The moment the students walk in, they’re greeted not only by me but also by… The Camera! 🕵️
Yes, I installed one, and guess what? Almost everyone takes a sneak peek at it. Maybe it’s curiosity, maybe it’s nerves—or maybe you all think you’re starring in a reality show! Either way, before the exam begins, you must sign the attendance list. One signature to mark your presence... and a glance at the camera for dramatic effect. 🎥✔️

 

🎞️ Scene 02: The Sacred Instructions

Ah, the golden rules! 📜
I explain the path to exam success (and survival):

Phones OFF – Not silent. Not screen-off. Not pretending-it’s-off. It must be completely turned OFF and placed on the desk. Many forget this, and well… you’ll see what happens in Scene 04! 📵

Vocabulary section – Use numbers to match the words and meanings. No lines, no spaghetti drawings on your paper, please.

True or False section – Pretty self-explanatory, but still... choose wisely.

End of test protocol – Sit tight and wait for me to collect your paper. You don’t just get up and walk out like it’s a movie theater. 🎬🍿

 

🎞️ Scene 03: Test Distribution – The Calm Before the Storm

Tests in hand! All instructions have been given. Now the mission is simple:
📝 Write your name, class, and university number!
I can’t magically guess who you are when correcting the test. If you want your grade, give me the info! I’m good, but I’m not a mind-reader. 🧠🔮

 

🎞️ Scene 04: Phone Patrol – Teacher vs The Tech Ninjas

Now comes the action scene: me vs. your smartphones. 📱🕵️‍♂️
I walk around checking if phones are actually off. That day, eight of you were caught with phones still ON!

Some of you get crafty:

You dim the screen so it looks off. Sneaky!

One student told (claim) me his phone turned on “very very fast”… the moment I picked it up to check (and press the button) the phone turn itself ON look liking it was ON already. Latter I asked him for video proof that was the case. He made a great video—Hollywood-level editing—but if you watch closely, he cut the video to make it look like the phone turns on instantly. 🎬🪄
I gave him credit for effort (and creativity),but remember this: fooling your teacher may work today, but in a future job interview, only real English skills will get you hired.

So… just study, okay? I’m on your side.

 

🎞️ Scene 05: The Great Exit Drama

The test is over. Yay! But suddenly… everyone wants to leave at once. 🚪
I take my time collecting the exams. Why? Because if you all leave together, you start chatting, sharing answers (yes, I know!),and the quiet test room becomes a loud subway station. Be patient. You’re almost free. Test days always end earlier than class. You’ll survive a few more minutes.

🎞️ Scene 06: The Final Heroes – Sorting Stars

After the last student leaves, I always get help from a few kind souls who stay behind to sort the tests by class and number. You are my MVPs! 🏆💪
It makes grading smoother, and I really appreciate it.

🎞️ Final Scene: A New Contract & A Simple Message

Yes, I renewed my contract. 🇨🇳
Why? Because I love teaching here, and because I believe in you.

My goal isn’t to fail anyone. I want you to succeed. But remember:
I can’t learn English for you.
I can teach, support, encourage, and sometimes entertain—but you have to do your part.

Let’s keep learning, laughing, and growing together. 🎓🌟

Article by Marcelo Gameiro

Published 26 May 2025