Lost in Faces (Names)

Embracing the Art of Forgetfulness: Navigating Names in a Foreign Land

Ah, the saga of name amnesia continues, and here I am, proudly embracing my talent for forgetting names, especially in a language as captivatingly complex as Chinese. Now, I confess, name recall has never been my forte, not even in the comfort of my native tongue. There's this one cringe-worthy incident from years past when I completely blanked on my brother-in-law's name. Trust me, the embarrassment was palpable, and I became the unwitting star of jokes, with whispers suggesting early-onset Alzheimer's. Ridiculous, I know – it's just names that play hide-and-seek with my memory.

Fast forward to the present, and I find myself in the heart of China, sharing the gift of English education. Lo and behold, my struggle with names has taken a peculiar turn, and let me tell you, it's gotten worse.

Sure, I could wallow in frustration and self-directed anger – after all, it's undeniably awkward to engage with students, share meals, and conduct English corners, all while they effortlessly recall my name while I grapple with theirs. And let's not even talk about the mispronunciations; that's a cringe-fest of its own.

But, dear reader, there's a twist in this tale. In China, much like elsewhere, social media and text messages are our communication lifelines. However, here's the plot twist: no one, and I mean no one, uses their actual picture in their profile. Picture this – it's not a profile picture but a random avatar or some artwork. Now, I might not remember names, but I've got a knack for faces. I can recognize if I've interacted with a student before. The catch? When a message pops up without a face to put to the name, it's a guessing game.

So, I resort to tactics. I've turned my chat backgrounds into a collage of photos with students. It's like a memory aid, and it works wonders. But, let's be real – snapping pics with everyone is not always feasible. In those instances, I've learned to let go, not allowing a name lapse to hinder new connections. After all, life is too short to stifle the blossoming of friendships just because names slip through the cracks.

backgrond with the student picture

Now, I'm penning down this piece not just as a therapeutic release but also as a response to the perpetual queries I face about this peculiar habit here in China. I find myself explaining it repeatedly, and perhaps, through this article, I can spark a conversation or gather some fresh insights. And hey, while I'm at it, let's unravel the mystery of the avatars – why do Chinese folks avoid using their real pictures in profiles?

The top three explanations I've received so far are:

1. Shyness – a common reason everywhere.
2. Modesty – a claim that beauty isn't a prerequisite.
3. Privacy – a shield to guard their personal lives from prying eyes.

If you've got another angle on this or a unique take, drop it in the comments. Let's turn this forgetful journey into a collective exploration!

Article by Marcelo Gameiro

Published 25 Nov 2023