TIPS REPORT 02: SHARPEN YOUR SOCIAL SKILLS

 This report includes powerful tips related to Sharpening Your Social Skills. It also includes 3 actionable steps you can take right away and a list of suggested reading for those people who are looking for even more information. ©

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

 

TOP TIPS

Do you consider yourself a social person? I think on some level, we all are. Or more correctly, we all need to be once in awhile. Even the most introverted and independent of us, has certain social commitments they have to deal with at times. If you find that you struggle in these situations, you can certainly use these nine powerful tips to help sharpen your social skills.

1. Start Small

One of the best ways to sharpen your social sills is by starting small in your day-to-day life. Small talk is a great way to sharpen your social skills, and it doesn't take much extra effort. The next time a neighbour says good morning, be willing to engage in a short chat.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are a great way to enhance your social interactions. Instead of asking questions that end with a quick "yes" or "no", ask questions that require more thoughtful answers. This will help keep people engaged and you won't feel like you have to carry the conversation on your own.

3. Seek Like-Minded People

If you struggle in social situations, why not try to make things easier for yourself? Try to find like-minded people that share similar interests as you. You will naturally feel more at ease when you are talking about the things you already love.

4. Develop Your Active Listening Skills

Social skills are just as much about listening as they are about speaking. You should ensure that you are a good active listener. Active listening means making eye contact, using other non-verbal cues and otherwise seeming interested in the person speaking to you.

5. Become a Better Storyteller

Being able to tell a great story is one of the best ways to sharpen your social skills. No matter how awkward or anxious you might feel, if you can tell a story that gets everyone on the edge of their seat or busting a gut you will be remembered. A great way to practice storytelling is actually by writing them.

6. Learn to Read Body Language

You don't have to be a master of body language yourself, but you should learn the basics. When you know what to look out for, you will know how people are responding to you. You will know when to stop talking, as well as when to continue. You will know if people are engaged, or annoyed.

7. Plan a Few Good Conversation Starters

If you struggle in social situations, make sure you have a couple good conversation starters or stories in your back pocket. To begin with, this will make you more confident in your social interaction. It will also ensure you have something to say when the conversation dwindles.

8. Shut Down The Distractions

This is going to be hard to hear for some people, but you should probably turn your phone off. It's impossible to have meaningful social interactions if you are constantly checking your phone. If you can't bring yourself to turn your phone off, at least keep it in your pocket.

9. You Get What You Give

Like most things in life, when it comes to social interactions, you get back what you put in. If you want people to be interested in you, then show interest in them. If you want people to be kind, then show them kindness first. Social interactions are most pleasant when they are reciprocal.

ACTIONABLE STEPS

A) Start With Small Talk.

Social skills are like any other skill, they take practice. Try making more small talk with the acquaintances already in your life. This will let you practice your social skills, while enriching your current relationships.

B) What Are Your Interests?

What are some things that really get you passionate or excited? Maybe you should focus your social interactions on people that share these values..

C) Think of a Few Conversation Starters.

Think of a couple of exciting or funny stories that you can use when conversation starts to stagnate. Try to match the stories to your potential audience.

FURTHER READING

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TIPS REPORT 01: A SELF-RELIANT MINDSET

This report includes powerful tips related to A Self-Reliant Mindset. It also includes 3 actionable steps you can take right away and a list of suggested reading for those people who are looking for even more information. ©

This article is from a Series of 52 tips Report on the subject of self improvement. If you want to receive a file with all 52 Reports at once, you can subscribe to my e-mail list.

 

TOP TIPS

Self-reliance isn't just for "preppers" and homesteaders - just about everyone4 can benefit from building a self-reliant mindset. Think about it; all it means is that you rely on yourself more. You are more independent, and your success isn't tied to anyone else. You don't have to give up all help and social contact though, simply knowing that you can stand on your own two feet will grant you the confidence to excel in all areas of your life.

1. Believe in Yourself

The first step to being more self-reliant is to FEEL more self-reliant. You have to believe that you can stand on your own two feet, or you will never become more self-reliant.

2. Recognize Your Dependencies

It's important to figure out who and what you are currently dependant on. You don't have to make any major changes at this point. Just recognize your dependencies. This way, you will know what kinds of things you need to learn to do yourself.

3. Accept Responsibility

If you want to be more self-reliant, then you need to accept responsibility. Your actions lead to real consequences, and you need to be responsible for them. If you make a mess of things, you need to be responsible for that, rather than looking to others to fix it.

4. Think for Yourself

You must avoid groupthink and think for yourself. This doesn't mean that you take the contrarian stance on every issue, but make sure you understand and believe in the things you talk about. If you have a stance on something, ensure your stance is not just what everyone else thinks.

5. Be Your Authentic Self

You should know your core values and what you believe in. Furthermore, it would help if you also acted in ways that reflect those values. Don't try to be someone different to impress others. If you want to be more self-reliant, you need to be comfortable in your skin at all times.

6. Make Your Own Decisions

If you run to someone else for help making every decision, you aren't self-reliant. Decision-making can be very stressful, and while it's helpful to get someone else's' opinion, it's up to you to make the decisions in your life at the end of the day. After all, you are the one who has to live with them.

7. Look After Yourself

A big part of self-reliance is taking care of yourself. You need to make sure both your mental and physical well being is taken care of. A poor spell of mental or physical health will almost ensure your reliance on others.

8. Commit to Lifelong Learning

While you can't possibly learn everything, it is important to commit to constantly learning if you want to be self-reliant. The world and your needs change; you need to keep learning, so you are ready to face these changes independently.

9. Know What You Want

What do you want out of life? If you want to be more self-reliant, you need to know exactly where you want to go. What's the point of being self-reliant if you aren't following your own goals?

ACTIONABLE STEPS

A) Brainstorm Your Dependencies.

Figure out the people you are currently dependent upon. You don't have to stop depending on these people, but you should take steps to make you feel comfortable if you couldn't depend on them.

B) List Your Values.

Take some time to think about the core values that you hold. What are the things that you believe in, no matter what? Being true to these is an important part of self-reliance.

C) Address a Weakness.

Think about any weaknesses you might have. Once you have thought of a few, think of a simple step, you can take to address one of them and then take it.

 

FURTHER READING

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1. The Harada Method the Spirit of Self-Reliance

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2. The Art of Self-Reliance: A Timeless Secret to Success

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3. The Journey to Emotional Self-Reliance

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4. The Self-Reliant Entrepreneur

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5. Self-Reliance and Other Essays

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Memory Techniques To Boost Your Foreign Language Learning

Using Mnemonics in Foreign Language Teaching and Learning

So how much vocabulary do you actually need to know before you can “get by” and actually converse in a foreign language? That depends on who you ask, as that tends to vary somewhat.

In his book, “Using Your Memory”, author Tony Buzan says that a mere 100 words comprise nearly 50% of the vocabulary used in every day conversational speech in most languages. Learning the equivalent of these words in a foreign language can help you to quickly develop essential vocabulary for everyday conversational use. But is this really enough?

Link Word Technique

Generally, you can function at the most basic level in a foreign language with a core vocabulary of around 1000 words according to Dr. Michael Gruneberg who formalized the “LinkWord” technique. He claims that, using this technique of linking a word in your own language to a word in the new language, you can acquire a core vocabulary in a foreign language in as little as 10 hours.

The LOCI Method

According to Cicero, the LOCI Method or Roman Room System is said to have originated in ancient Greece circa 500 B.C. When the building he was in collapsed, crushing all of the people inside beyond recognition, the only survivor, poet Simonides of Ceos identified the victims by name solely based on where they had been sitting at the dinner table. The technique was commonly used for centuries by Greek and Roman orators to give speeches without using notes.

The Pimsleur Method

The Pimsleur Method folks check in at 2,500 words as a minimum core vocabulary to communicate fluently in a foreign language. This is much closer to what I’ve actually found in real-world practice to be an effective depth of vocabulary.

Personally, I advocate a minimum core vocabulary in the range of 1500 to 2000 words. Sure you can “communicate” with much fewer words, as few as 500 depending on the context, but you could often sound “strained”, “artificial” or even “childish” in your speech constructions while trying to get your point across.

In addition, if you’re working in a skilled trade, vocation or profession, the minimum core vocabulary count could ramp up as much as another 300 to 500 words. So any time spent acquiring needed foreign language vocabulary is definitely time well spent. In the next article of this series we’ll consider a simple method you can use to start learning key vocabulary right away.

 

Defending Ones Position.

 Me: you will never find any video for any mormon criticizing you or any other church, that does not mean we will not preach the gospel to whomever wants to hear, but remember Jesus himself did not criticize anyone like you are doing right now, I serve as missionary for this church you are criticizing, I can tell you the worst way to convince someone is to criticize them, Jesus Christ never criticize , and perhaps you have something to learn here.

Him: Jesus "You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies." John 8:44 

Jesus "You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil?" Matthew 12:34 

Jesus "An evil and adulterous generation seeks for a sign, but no sign will be given to it" Matt 12:44 

Yup, Jesus didn't use criticism. 

Me: you should be ashamed.... 

in John 8 the Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, 4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. 5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? 6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. (New Testament | John 8:3 - 6) 

AS YOU CAN SEE HE DID NOT WENT AFTER THEM TO CRITICIZE ANYONE, THEY CAME TO HIM TRYING TO TEMPT HIM. He did defend his position and sent the woman to a better life path by talking about repentance. 

I dont know if it is worth keep chatting you, so I will stop here instead of explaining the other examples, but I am sure if you go over them you will find him defending his position, and not him going out there looking for trouble and criticizing others. 

You may say I am here fighting or criticizing you but I am just defending my point of view or my religion, you have to remember it was not me who started this, you are the one putting videos out there talking how my church is wrong , not the other way around. 

You should follow Jesus Example, because now it is very clear that he did not criticize others, he just went about doing good and preaching the gospel, if that is what you want to do I commend you, but if not .... you should NOT be surprised when one day he may say to you:

23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. (New Testament | Matthew 7:22 - 23

Teaching Deep Culture in the Elementary Classroom.

I find out very interesting that some researchers find that why did certain civilizations in world history seem to be more "advanced" than others. The answer to that question is related to the fact that those societies that had more access to cultural diversity were more apt to advance than their more isolated counterparts. Nowadays we have to be able to verify due to our technological advancements some neat explanations for that happening. it is said that those expositions to diversity will foster more neural connection in the brain that can be used to help solve different problems than the one who causes the neural connection to be formed, this propels the individual to be more creative and smart in regards having ideas and interesting solutions for many and different tasks he may encounter ahead.

it is being said that to teach deeper culture one has to acquire enough culture so that he can compare to new ones, or different than the one he belongs to. In fact, he can only make those comparisons if he had a frame of reference, that is his own culture. By the other hand children, exposure to stories and situation that is on their level of understanding can contribute for them to recognize a cross-cultural difference when they see one, and by consequence to deal better with the situation.

Culture and Psychology

This topic of psychology got my attention because the same situation can take a whole different meaning to the one who is experiencing it. It was illustrated by professor Ivers by saying that farming was a feminine job on the Indian culture and it takes several generations until it became in such a way that there is no job that can be more manly than that. This also reminds me a few times when I see people working with kids, I learn a few things raisin, my own children, and that was when sometimes is much easier to apply a little psychology to make a child to some stuff than using the force, that is the power of psychology over us, so we should not underestimate that power.

Self-esteem is considered for some to be the most important factor of achievement, this topic remembers me the story of Johnny Lingo that I like so much, it demonstrates in that story how self-esteem can play a powerful tool in someone life change for the better.

This is also related to a concept called stereotype threat, it says that we live to the cultural expectation of the stereotype we are in, this is being studied and the results show is this: consider that white male usually feels less athletic power compared to black male, and when before the test if the male is reminded of that he usually will perform worse. 

Asian Americans usually perform better academically and financially than white Americans, even thou the statics confirm that we cannot say it is always like that, perhaps the we can even say the statistics data is responsible for the stereotyping.

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Differences in Manners

As a returned missionary I have seen a lot of this happening a mission field, I guess it was fun when it was harmless, and it happens to ones who came to live and experience a mission in a different language and culture. It was nice to have a companion to help but it ends up being the companion who set the stage to trick you if you are the foreigner. It goes like this, go and say this or that you want to convey this message, or explain when people say this they mean such and such, and then we sit back and watch and have fun with...I am talking about this experiences because I want to say that there is two way you can learn about the other culture, you can take that easy and have fun and maybe laugh at your self or not, I prefer the first option, also I had so much fun and enjoy so much living this kind of experience that I am planning to live abroad again.