So, I used to run these fun dating workshops where I'd toss out some spicy questions to get everyone talking and break the ice. One of my favorites? "Should men always pay for dates?" Oh boy, the answers are all over the place! But recently, I stumbled upon something that I never really considered before.
You see, ever since I arrived in China in 2018, I’ve been hyping up my students to step out of their shells, make more friends, and hey, maybe even try dating. A lot of them were pretty shy and would come to me asking for help. I’d playfully guide them with this super fun game (which, by the way, you can find in another post).
Now, here’s where my epiphany comes in. I always tell my students, "University is literally prime time to date! Everyone’s young, single, and at the same level—pursuing their degrees." It’s basically a dating playground! But then I realized something even better: You don’t even need to worry about paying for dates! I kid you not—every time I’ve gone to the canteen and asked a girl to join me for a meal (sometimes a boy),they’re already eating! So technically, I’ve done this over a thousand times and haven’t paid for a single meal (for the other person). Jackpot!
The moral? Make the most of your university years—it’s the easiest, most low-stakes time to meet new people and maybe even avoid footing their bill!
Update
There was a time when I would walk into the canteen at Hunan University of Engineering, unnoticed by anyone, and with no familiar faces around. I was new here and didn’t know a single person. But now, after being here for three years and making an effort every day to connect with new people, my experience is completely different—especially when the canteen is packed with students. I run into old friends, classmates from previous years, and I can easily join them for a meal, catching up on life since we last met. Today, I ate on both the first and second floors, and it gave me the chance to reconnect with so many familiar faces. That's what this post is about: the ease of meeting people, making friends, going on dates, expanding your network, or even just striking up conversations with strangers in a university environment. It's such an incredible opportunity, and I can't quite understand (because it is so easy to do) why more students aren’t taking full advantage of it - Making new friends everyday.
Below are some pictures of me Today eating with old friends and making new ones too:
My Foreign English teacher ask me to write a blogpost (on any social media: wechat, weibo, bili bili, etc) about my experience with the (book test) previous assignment:
After last year's adventure (vacation) in Brazil, I wrote a detailed report for my students in China, anticipating their curiosity about my travels. This year, I’m doing the same for my recent trip to the Philippines. I hope to inspire my students to explore new experiences themselves. So, here’s a recap of my vacation, with a few insights that might encourage them to take the plunge!
1. The Thrill of Visiting a New Place.
There’s an undeniable excitement in exploring somewhere new, and my trip to the Philippines was no exception. It was my first time there, and I was eager to experience it firsthand. One key reason for choosing the Philippines was that a trip to Brazil wouldn’t allow me to see my kids, as they weren’t traveling to meet me this time.
Additionally, I wanted to visit my church’s temple and attend services for two weekends. Of course, I was also curious to see if the Philippines lived up to my expectations.
2. Making New Friends.
I’ve made friends wherever I go, a practice I’ve upheld during my seven years in China. So, naturally, I aimed to continue this tradition in the Philippines. I took a few rides on the famous jeepneys, a popular mode of transport there, and struck up conversations with fellow passengers. Many such interactions led to a new friendship — proof that striking up a chat can lead to wonderful connections!
3. The Travel Experience.
Travel itself isn’t my favorite part of going somewhere; I just love discovering new places. The concept of teleportation sounds like a dream to me! Unfortunately, my flights didn’t go as smoothly as planned.
Both my outbound and return flights experienced delays. On the way to Cebu, I barely made my connection, I was overcharged by taxi driver at 3 am to take me to the departure terminal in a hurry to avoid missing my flight, I paid five times the normal fare. Though it stung initially, it was better than missing the flight. On my return trip, I missed a connection because of a delayed first flight. Despite rushing through the airport and paying a premium for a taxi again, I still arrived too late. I had to buy a new ticket for the next day (meaning one more day traveling),which meant I departed the Philippines on Monday morning and reached home in China by Wednesday evening — exhausted but grateful for the experience. - who would have thought I would fell so at home in China
4. Tourist Activities.
I had hoped to connect with someone at church who could show me around. To my delight, a member of the congregation — a medical student — offered to be my guide on his day off. He took me to the Temple of Leah, Little kyoto in the mountains, and the historical Magellan Cross in Cebu.
What made this experience special was that he mentioned he had felt a strong impression to talk to me when we first met at church. We quickly became good friends, and his company made exploring even more enjoyable. Another point to mention was that heavenly Father does answer our prayers (even the simple one),because I was praying to met someone like him to help me navigate Cebu.
5. Volunteering at the Temple.
A major reason for my trip was to visit and work at the temple. I spent time there from Wednesday to Saturday, and it was a fulfilling experience. I took many photos of the beautiful temple and found the work to be deeply rewarding.
6. Other Activities.
Though I was beyond the typical age range for institute activities, I attended anyway to mingle with locals and make new friends.
Later on the week I also participated in a graduation ceremony for the institute and seminary on Saturday evening.
Being single, I always hold out hope that my efforts to make new friends might eventually lead me to that special someone. Dating is a hot topic among university students — one I frequently discuss during meals in the canteen and at various campus activities like English Corner.
Many students are shy and often seek my advice on finding a girlfriend or boyfriend. I’ve noticed they usually make friends with their roommates and classmates, but don’t venture beyond that circle. So, I encourage them to broaden their social horizons—after all, friends enhance life both personally and professionally.
I even did teach a class on dating strategies, covering everything from planning a date to asking someone out and handling relationships with honesty and respect. This class included exercises and games designed to help students overcome shyness and improve their social skills. A girlfriend or boyfriend is often the result of being more sociable, friendly, and willing to take risks.
As a teacher, dating students romantically would be unprofessional and problematic,. so I focus only on friendship. But during my vacation in the Philippines, where everyone spoke English, I continued my practice of making friends, with the added possibility of a romantic connection if the chemistry was right.
What kind of a teacher I would be if keep encouraging the students to make new friends while I would shy out from such opportunities. I am NOT saying she was the only pretty girl I meet in Philippines, but what I am saying is that she was the one who rejected me, so let me share how it did happen.
On my last day at the temple, I saw a lovely girl in the celestial room who looked like an angel. Summoning my courage, I waved at her. When she didn’t notice, I manage to found her again at the stairs, got her name, and planned to add her on Facebook. Despite this, she later ignored me at the institute and seminary graduation, moving to another bench when I sat near her. Of all the friends I made during the trip, she’s the only one who hasn’t accepted my Facebook request (and I suppose she never will).
Rejection is a normal part of anyone’s life, I got rejected, but I was so glad I took the chance to approach her, otherwise I would be wondering forever – “WHAT IF I HAD TALKED TO HER ?” But I had talked to her and now I don’t have to wonder, she was not the kind of girl I did expected her to be. It is kind of rude, or at least not very polite to ignore a person. Perhaps she would profit from my dating activity to learn a more graceful way to say “No”.
Below is some slides from my dating class/activity:
On Sundays, I took full advantage of my opportunity to attend church and stayed there the entire day. The temple square in Cebu comprises the temple, a patron house, and two chapels serving five wards.
This meant there were plenty of meetings and activities to keep me occupied the whole day. Besides the usual Sunday school and sacrament meeting, I participated in various other sessions, including a resilience class, marriage strengthening training, and ministering visits.
9. Returning to China.
My return journey to China had its own share of drama. After missing a flight connection in Manila, I had to decide between staying at the airport, finding a hotel, or opting for something a bit unconventional. I chose the unconventional route of course: since I was in Manila, where there was another temple I hadn’t visited yet, I decided to check it out. I took a motorcycle taxi — cheaper than a car taxi — with nearly all my remaining cash and arrived at the temple close to midnight.
Although it was closed, I managed to snap some photos of the exterior. The humorous part was me explaining to the security guard at 1:00hs am. that I just wanted to take some pictures of the temple. He called his supervisor, and I can only imagine the conversation going something like, “Hello supervisor, there’s this crazy foreigner who wants to take pictures of the temple now (1:00 hs am.)”
After showing my ID and proof of membership, I got my photos. I was hopping to spend the night at sofa in the patron house’s lobby, but it was closed until the next day. So, I spent the night talking with the security officer until sunrise, then took the church shuttle to the bus station and then back to the airport for the flight at noon. That’s why I arrived home in China utterly exhausted. But it was an unforgettable adventure, quite different from the typical tourist activities like waterfalls or snorkeling. For me, such activities don’t hold the same appeal when traveling alone.
10. Overall.
Experience Overall, my trip was fantastic. I embraced the old saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Despite the high taxi fare and that one rejection, everything else about the trip was great. Every penny spent was worth it, so much so and I even visited two universities to explore potential teaching opportunities in Philippines. Who knows? In the future, I might be teaching in other Asian countries as well. We’ll see!
Estudy English Group: A Fun and Engaging Learning Adventure
This vacation, I wanted to do something different and truly enjoyable, so I decided to volunteer as a tutor for an English study group. My goal was to create a fun and engaging environment for students eager to improve their English skills.
Why I'm Doing This
A Desire to Give Back: This experience was all about finding ways to serve others. Even though it started during my vacation (talk about dedication!),I was excited to volunteer my time to help students improve their English — for free! There were no grades.
The Initial Challenge: When I first pitched the idea, I teamed up with Alex from the School of Language Education. We reached out to students, but I think many were too shy to say "no," so they said they would come to class but on the next when I was about to start the class they didn't show up. It was a bit disappointing, and I did cancel that first group. But as you may have guessed I wasn't ready to give up just yet!
A New Approach: I regrouped and tried a different strategy. I told students, "You don't have to join this project, but if you do, all I ask is your commitment to show up and participate. It's free, no grades, just a fun and serious learning experience." This time, I got around five students — a small group, but a very dedicated one!
The Dedicated Few: The university was almost deserted, with most students on vacation. However, those who stayed were preparing for their post-graduation entrance exams. Despite having no classes, many claimed they didn't have time. I could have argued that they had plenty of time, but I didn't. I wanted only those genuinely interested in being part of the project.
The Power of Volunteering: The group you will see in the video from the online course I made from this experience was small but mighty. These students were incredibly dedicated, showing up consistently and engaging with all the class assignments. It reminded me of the spirit of volunteering—being there because you want to, not because you have to. It's like going to church: you attend not out of obligation, but out of a genuine desire to be there.
In the end, this experience has been incredibly rewarding, and as of today the classes are still going on. Volunteering has a unique power—it brings together people who genuinely want to be there, creating a positive and productive environment. And also I am under the impression those students will accomplish great things in the future. They are the kind of students I love, they want to learn.
And who knew? Teaching English could be so much fun!
This is how we ended our English study group today (picture above) - eating this delicious barbecue together. My last assignment to students were to write something about this experience, here are their posts:
